Page 75 of The Broken Hearts Club

“Yeah, it was. The few times I tried bottoming in my life, it really didn’t do it for me.”

“Well, that’s a bummer, since I’m strictly a top.”

“Really?”

A snort of laughter burst from him. “Hell no. I’m a total bottom. Come on.”

“Well, you never know.”

We climbed under the covers, and I wrapped my arms around him as he tucked himself under my chin. He fell silent for a while, so I thought he’d nodded off. But then he asked, “What if it’s awful when we finally have sex?”

“Do you think it will be?”

“No, but it happens. Sometimes two people can click in every other way, but then there’s this disconnect when it comes to sex. What if that happened with us? Would you want to go back to just being friends?”

“I already know we’re going to be amazing together. You’re worrying about hypotheticals.”

“Yeah, I do that,” he said quietly. “I can take any situation and go straight to the worst case scenario. I started out in life as an optimist, but it was pretty hard to hold on to that after losing my dad, and my mom, and the house I grew up in, and… you know what? I’m going to stop talking now, because this sounds like a pity party.”

He fell asleep a few minutes later, and I held him in my arms and thought about what he’d said. I could understand his perspective. My life hadn’t exactly gone as planned, and that had left me more than a little pessimistic—but not when it came to Collie and me.

I had to believe everything was going to work out between us, that the sex was going to be fantastic, and he’d come home with me, and we’d get our happily ever after. We were both overdue for a best case scenario.

That night, after everyone else had gone to sleep, Collie and I were both sitting up in bed, reading on our phones. Suddenly, he tossed back the covers and said, “Bundle up and follow me.”

“Where are we going?”

“The backyard.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

After we put on jackets and our sneakers, we snuck downstairs, being careful not to wake anyone. On the way to the back door, he grabbed a crocheted blanket and the old quilt he’d been using earlier.

I helped him spread out the quilt once we were in the backyard, and we both stretched out side-by-side beneath the blanket. He took my hand and stared up at the night sky. I followed his lead. After a while, I asked, “Are we looking for something in particular?”

“Yup.”

“Aliens?”

“No, but how cool would that be?”

A few moments later, a shooting star streaked across the sky. Collie clamped his hand over his mouth to stifle a squeal, while I murmured, “Oh wow,” and turned toward him. As my eyes got used to the darkness, I could begin to see him pretty clearly. “How did you know that was going to happen?”

“I read online that there was a meteor shower tonight. There’s not much light pollution out here, so I figured we had a good chance of seeing something.”

I turned my attention back to the sky. A minute or two later, another shooting star appeared. Once again, he slapped his hand over his mouth to suppress a squeal of delight. It was so cute, and endearing, and so totally him that I sat up and blurted, “I can’t live without you, Collie.”

He sat up, too. “What?”

“I know you feel like you need to be here, but Jeannie is fine. She has a support system. Dwight’s been checking on her every day, and her in-laws are totally helping out with the kids. She’s got this. She really does. Just ask her.”

It was time to put my cards on the table. I took his hands in mine and continued, “But I’m not fine. Not without you. I know we could do the long distance thing, but this isn’t where you belong. You should be in San Francisco, with me. That’s your home. Please come home with me, Collie.”

His eyes reflected some sort of distant light source as he searched my face and asked, “Why didn’t you say any of this sooner? Instead, you literally drove me here.”

“How could I? That would’ve been so selfish. It would have been like asking you to pick one—me or your best friend, who was having a baby, and whose marriage had just gone up in flames. But now that we know Jeannie is okay, I’m asking you⁠—”