Page 28 of Once Ruined, Twice Shy

“It is not so bad as I had expected. I’m no judge, but I’d say it was healing well.”

“You’re not revolted?”

“Of course not. It looks strange being empty though. Would you not consider wearing your glass eye?”

“Perhaps. When I’m brave enough to remove the patch.”

“You have already been brave enough. Consider it. Just think of the faces, the expressions you can make when you have two eyes.”

He tipped his head back, and she pulled her hand away as he let out a mirthless chuckle. “More likely, I will terrify our children.”

Their children? She hadn’t agreed to marry him yet.

“You assume too much.”

Why had she said that? She wanted children more than anything. But she also wanted to have a choice. She’d been a caged bird all her life—why immediately swap one prison for another? Could she trust Conall to give her the freedom she needed? Or would he want to be in control all the time, as he had been today?

“I thought you might want children.” He tied the eyepatch back in place.

“Of course, I do. But are you the man with whom I wish to have them?”

He looked at her, stunned. His lips moved, but no words came out. Then he rose, saying, “I quite understand. I’ve broken your trust today and should not expect too much of you when you’re tired, hurting, and feeling betrayed. But understand, Hestia, second chances come but rarely. And forgiveness, it seems, is even rarer.”

He turned away and left her chamber without another word.

She lay down and pulled the bed-clothes around her ears, disquiet gnawing at her. She’d definitely drawn blood, but was it because his pride was hurt, or had she dealt a blow to his heart? He was right—she was weary, she did feel let down, cornered, out of options. In the morning, she’d feel better, and more able to see things clearly.

Time enough to make her peace with Conall on the morrow. She’d sleep now, and give him a response to his proposal after breakfast.

Assuming she hadn’t hurt him so deeply, he no longer felt obliged to offer for her.

Chapter 16

After a sleepless night, Conall rose early. So many emotions warred within him, he felt dizzy and needed to clear his head. Superimposed on all the guilt, love, anger, and frustration was an overriding sense of fear. He’d shown Hestia his deformity. She didn’t care for him enough to overlook it. Had he cast his love on barren ground?

Again?

Somewhat to his surprise, he found the colonel already at breakfast, assisted by a very sleepy maid.

“Lord Corsbury.”

“No, don’t get up. And please, call me Conall.”

“I have a good many questions for you, sir, about the time my daughter spent in your house.”

“As a guest, chaperoned by my mother.”

“I certainly hope so.” The Colonel speared a devilled kidney and conveyed it to his mouth.

Conall grimaced. He wasn’t sure he felt like eating today. “I think we need to settle the issue of Frederick Ebbworth before we concern ourselves with anything else. Including Miss Normanton’s future.”

The Colonel remained silent, chewing on his mouthful. If anyone could be said to be eating with menace, this old soldier was doing it. But Conall was not easily deterred. “I mean to find him forthwith.”

Hestia’s father raised a grizzled eyebrow. “And call him out?”

“Not at all. I mean to seek terms.”

“Pah! Such a fellow will stop at nothing. Regardless of what he calls himself now, he’s a deserter. Let the military decide what’s to be done with him. I shall tell our constable to keep an eye open, should the mongrel return to Essex.”