Page 89 of A Potion for Passion

“No, you are. He told me your letter named all the things I’d done to aid his cause, and also that of Lord Beckport last year. As a result of your generous letter, I was offered a full pardon. When he handed me the paper, I felt like a snake shedding its skin, emerging brighter and better than before. All thanks to you.”

“You did those things. I simply wrote them down.” Her heart glowed. He’d been pardoned! She couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome. “I’m so happy for you, Lawrence. See? You did the right thing. I knew you would.”

“There may be a small grain of honor in me, I suppose. I had thought the only way to live a blameless life would be to start again in America, peddling my medicines, and avoiding cheats and rogues. But you have shown me that I can continue my life here in my own country and still make an honest living.”

Hope soared through her like a kite on the breeze. Had he decided not to go America, after all?

“What happens now?” she wondered.

“I won’t be troubled by the authorities again, so long as I don’t return to my old habits.”

She nuzzled against his cheek. It was rough with stubble, and she wondered how long he’d been detained at Oakwood Grange. Had he even been back to his wagon, or had he come straight to see her?

“Do you think you can keep out of trouble?” she asked.

“It sounds boring, but I suppose I must.”

“What you do could never be dull,” she said with a laugh. She truly had enjoyed his medicine shows. But that adventure was a distant memory now, a glimmer of bright color in an otherwise gray and monotonous life.

“I’ll just have to make sure my exploits are on the right side of the law,” he said.

She couldn’t help the deep sigh that escaped her. He’d set off on his travels and leave her behind. She’d only see him a handful of times in a year.

Unless she went with him. Could she give up her dreams, her reputation, and her family, to join him and share his roving existence?

Not that he’d even invited her to.

Did he plan to be reunited with his true family? That would be splendid for him. Less rosy for her. No doubt she’d never see him again if he became one of the nobility. Best she not ask. While she remained in ignorance, she could pretend there was some kind of future for them.

Her voice shook as she circled back and asked, “You no longer plan to go to America, then?”

He pulled her closer. “I don’t. I’ll find other ways to help them fight their epidemics. Write papers, send seeds so they can grow the correct herbs. The money I’ve saved will be put to much better use.”

He brushed his lips along her cheek, and she quivered in his embrace, determined to treasure every last second of time with him and every touch, however fleeting.

Whatever memories she made with him now would have to last a lifetime.

“Aren’t you going to ask what I intend to do with the money?” he murmured, nibbling gently at her earlobe.

“If you want me to. What will you do with your savings?”

“I’m giving them to you.”

She went rigid. “What? No. Whatever for?” She didn’t want his money. She wanted him. Now and forever.

“With it, you can buy a share in a hat shop, without having to sell your cottage. If you still want to, that is.”

“But I can’t take your money!”

“I’m not giving you a choice,” he said.

She gaped up at him. She didn’t know what to say. She’d betrayed him, thrown his plans into complete disarray, yet here he was, rewarding her for it. Such generosity was completely undeserved. All she could do was shake her head, and press her eyes tight shut against the burning tears.

He released his grip on her waist and took her face in his hands. “Look at me, Flora.”

She wanted to hide from him, hide the depth of her feelings. She loved him more than she’d ever thought it possible to love another human being. But there was no room in his life for her. That must be the reason behind his offer of money, to make it easier to leave her behind.

“Don’t cry,” he said. “I love you. I would do anything for you.”