Page 20 of A Perilous Passion

“Of course I swear,” she said, with as much dignity as she could muster. He still hesitated, so she prodded, “Go on. I’m all ears.”

Finally, he told her. He explained that he feared the two free traders they’d seen at the cave might be watching her house. The only way to know was to watch it himself.

As he talked, she found herself struggling to concentrate on anything other than how gracefully his mouth moved.

She managed to comprehend that he was now satisfied no one in her household had given away his presence in the village, and that no one was watching her family with nefarious purpose in mind.

Except him, of course, she thought wryly. If climbing into a young lady’s bedchamber in the middle of the night wasn’t nefarious, she didn’t know what was.

Somewhere along the line he’d switched to the topic of his alleged cowardice.

“…the simple truth of the matter is that I try to avoid horses because some of them do occasionally make me sneeze, which was the case on the unlucky day of my last army maneuver against Napoleon. Because of an untimely sneeze, brave men could have died. As it was, vital intelligence was lost to our side. The shame of knowing I’d caused the debacle was unbearable, so I resigned my commission and left the army. If the ton wants to call that lack of courage, then so be it.”

By the end of his candid confession she felt truly horrified at the shoddy way he’d been treated by his so-called friends and peers. He’d done the honorable thing and been openly shunned for it.

“Can you do nothing when horses affect you? Is there no medicine you could take?”

“None that the army surgeons could think of—their skills lie elsewhere. And to be honest, I’m not that bothered by the affliction, despite what the gossips say. I can travel in a carriage or even ride, without ill affect—I just can’t predict when I’ll suffer and when I won’t. But I actually prefer to walk. You learn much more that way.”

She gave him a searching look.

His eyes hardened and he said coolly, “Don’t worry about sparing my feelings. I’m used to being laughed at.”

She clutched his arm. “I’m not laughing. And I don’t think you’re a coward. It must all be…challenging for you.” She tipped her head in consideration. “My aunt says there’s a visiting doctor in the village. Perhaps he has something that could help? Mama calls him a quack, but Aunt Flora puts great store in his potions and elixirs.”

“I’ve already looked for him, but he’s gone.”

“I see.” She chewed on her lip. “Well, I’ll hunt around under Aunt Flora’s bed. I know she bought several of his remedies. Perhaps there’s a tonic you could take to reduce the effect horses have on you.”

“Honestly, there’s no need. It’s only perhaps one in ten horses that make me sneeze.” He held her gaze and smiled at her.

It was a very disarming smile. It set her heart aflutter, and briefly, she glimpsed the charming aristocrat he must have been before he went incognito. With that devilishly attractive smile, his handsome features, and athletic body, he must have had all the ladies falling at his feet.

A body that was definitely still showing itself to advantage beneath the damp layer of his shirt…

She swallowed against the peculiar feeling in the pit of her stomach. Or perhaps a bit lower… “But none of that explains why you are concealing your true identity,” she reminded him.

After a brief flash of irritation—presumably because she remembered his promise—he gave her a penetrating look. “This is for your ears only, d’ye understand?”

She nodded. “I promise. I don’t want you climbing through my window again to ensure my silence.”

Not entirely true.

“I couldn’t sit idle after I left the army, and I hated the idea of English coin ending up in French pockets. So, I volunteered my services as a spy for the crown.”

She’d guessed it must be something along those lines, but it was good to know for certain. A trickle of rainwater found its way down her neck. She shivered. “Are you just spying in Dorset, or have you operated somewhere else?”

“Such as Essex, perhaps?”

She went cold. How—

What an idiot she was! He’d heard her mention Essex to her friends while eavesdropping, and she’d just piqued his curiosity further.

What would he think if he learned the truth about her?

What would he do? Nothing good, she was sure.

“I was thinking more of East Anglia generally,” she said, hoping she sounded more casual than she felt. “Do they have smugglers in the Fenland? Are the beaches of Suffolk too flat for concealment?”