Page 52 of Distracting the Duke

“Oh, you have been the perfect host. Perhaps too perfect. Ellie has said—and you mustn’t repeat this to her—that she finds you distant and cold.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Gad. And here I was thinking we were getting on quite famously. How very depressing. Do you consider me distant and cold, Clara?”

She waved a hand. “My opinion is of no consequence. I ask only that you make more of an effort to be kind and gentle with Ellie.”

He frowned. “Once again you’re telling me how to conduct myself. It’s becoming rather tiresome.”

“I see,” she said, pressing her lips together to keep from saying something rude.

“Indeed.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you mocking me, Marcus?”

His expression became instantly guileless. “How could I be, if I’m cold and distant?”

“Don’t throw my words back at me.”

“Don’t tell me what I may or may not do in my own house.”

She flinched at his harsh inflection. He was in earnest this time, his blue-gray eyes hard, his jaw set.

She’d made him angry. Naturally. Because that hadn’t been her intention, at all.

“Forgive me, Your Grace. I didn’t mean to offend.”

“Well you have, and this isn’t the first time.”

She swallowed. “And I thought I’d been behaving myself. I didn’t want to come on this trip, you know. Perhaps I should—”

“There,” he interrupted, as if proving his point. “You offend me almost as soon as you open your mouth. Once you are on a particular course, I suspect it’s impossible to divert you from it.”

“I see.”

His eyes raked her face. “Have you nothing more to say?”

What did he want from her? An apology?

Well, fine. Words cost nothing, and if it made him more pleasant toward Ellie…

But before she could speak, he asked quietly, “Why did you turn away from me the other day, when you saw me walking back from the beach?”

Mortification streaked through her at the reminder. She looked down and removed an invisible piece of fluff from her gown. He mustn’t see her flushing. Why, oh, why could she not control it?

“Ah, so it was deliberate,” he said. “Am I not to know your reason? And don’t tell me the sun was in your eyes, or you forgot something you needed, or any such flummery. I want only the truth.”

She lifted her head and met his gaze squarely, ignoring the way her ears were burning. “I could ask you the same question. You turned away from me. You know you did.”

“Very well, if you insist, I’ll tell you, if you really haven’t guessed already. Clara, you must know that you affect me. You’re like a thorn in my side, but there is pleasure as well as pain. I’m drawn to you, despite myself. I want you, even though I know I can’t have you. I suppose that makes the wanting all the keener.”

Her mouth parted and she stammered, “S-stop. You mustn’t say—”

But he continued earnestly, “I know I’d be a hypocrite and a cad if I were to favor you when I’ve already raised expectations in Ellie. And I don’t know if you even like me. I’ve plenty of evidence that you don’t. That, my sweet, is why I seem distant and cold. I’m frustrated and uncertain, and I’m not used to either. There you have it.”

Clara was grateful she was sitting down, for this blatant declaration sent a chaos of conflicting emotions crashing through her. Had she been standing, she would certainly have collapsed, weak at the knees and flabbergasted.

She closed her eyes and took in a series of steadying breaths, willing her fluttering heart to calm down. As she pulled her scattered thoughts into order, she knew he’d only spoken the truth. She felt it, too, this pull, this bond between them.

But she’d not known how much he was suffering because of it.