Page 127 of Kickoff

“You’re cool enough usually, but no weird teen slang, please.”

“Teen slang? I just made up the word. I’ll say Easychill instead.”

“Nope. No more made-up expressions.”

“Fine. Anyway, like I was saying, I’m glad happiness is back in your life. It broke my heart to see you blaming yourself for Melinda’s disorder. You can help her much more if you’re in a good mood than if you’re miserable. The girl will need all the positivity she can get, now that she’s back.”

“Well, I’m choosing to let go of the guilt and the pain and to look at the future with a positive outlook. I think I can help her out. Let’s just hope she gives me a chance to be there for her. See, I’m trying to be Mr. Optimism.”

“I love this new mindset.” She turned, studying me with a frown. “How are you really doing? The truth. There are shadows under your eyes. I can tell this whole situation is weighing heavy on you, and I worry about you.”

I averted my eyes, but she cleared her throat, and I brought my focus back to her. “I’m fine… I think… Melinda returned last night, and it took all I had not to go over there... I stayed awake hoping she would reach out. She never did. After that, my sleep hasn’t been restful. There are millions of scenarios playing in my head every day. I have no clue if she still wants nothing to do with me. It’s hard not knowing where we stand. I’ve missed her like crazy, and… I-I hope she misses me too… And that she’s healing. I hate the idea she did this to herself and thought I would like her more if she looked different. I want her to be healthy, you know?”

“Mase, we’ve already discussed it. It’s not on you. Eating disorders are serious, and it’s more than just a warped-up perception of physical appearance. It’s a mental health struggle, and it impacts self-confidence too. Melinda put herself under a lot of stress last fall, and with her health history, it just became too much, and she cracked. Don’t blame yourself for not seeing it. And don’t blame her either. Instead, be there for her if she lets you in. Be her moral support, her confidant… I know I would have wanted someone in my corner if it had been me in her shoes at that age. Someone I could have been honest with and who I knew had my back, no matter what.”

“Okay.”

“Have you talked to her at all while she was away?”

“No.” I sighed. “She asked me not to contact her, and I kept my promise. We haven’t talked since the night I went over to her house, and she said we were over. Her mom told me she was hopeful about her progress the other day so…” I scratched my temple. “Mom, do you think we can go back to what we once were? Or do you think our relationship will be forever broken?”

“Is that what you want? To be with her in a romantic way?”

“Yes. Why do you even ask? It’s not even a question.”

“Oh, Mase.” My mom caressed my cheek. “You’re a special one, my son. Don’t rush her, okay? She’s been through a lot. I could tell every time I saw you together that she cared about you a lot too. Give her some time and some room to breathe. For now, be her friend and see where it takes you. She’ll need all the support she can get. I’m sure deep down she knows you only want what’s best for her too.”

“Yeah. I wanna care for her.”

“I know. It comes with great responsibilities, though, and I don’t want you to put too much pressure on yourself. You are no doctor, and you’re not supposed to be one either. Your job is to be there for her if she lets you in, but not to try to heal her. Don’t take over someone else’s job because you think you have to.”

Her words simmered between us for a minute.

“Since the day she moved next door, I’ve always thought there was something special between the two of you. I’m glad you found your way to each other after all this time. This chemistry, it won’t fade because of a bump in your road. If you two are meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other again one day if now isn’t your time.”

“You think so?”

“I truly believe that.”

“I truly believe that.” Her words beelined straight to my heart and confirmed what I already knew. Melinda and I shared a connection. Our getting together had been a long time coming.

“Thanks, Mom. I gotta go. I don’t wanna be late.”

“I love to see you so enthusiastic to return to school after a month-long break.” Her laughter wrapped around me like a warm ribbon as I made my way outside, relishing the crisp winter air as it hit my lungs. Two inches of freshly fallen snow covered the ground like millions of tiny diamonds gleaming under the sunrays, giving the street a fairytale appearance.

The weather wouldn’t make a dent in my day. The sun was shining high, and my heart was bursting with hope—and love. Nothing could go wrong today. I had a plan and I would follow it and everything would unfold perfectly.

For long minutes, I watched the house next door, waiting for a movement—or a sign. Anything that would make it easier for me to engage with my neighbor before we arrived at school.

Craig joined me on the front porch. “Are you chickening out?”

“No. She’s worth it. I was waiting to see if she came out so I could have offered her a ride to school.” I sighed. “Are we riding together?”

“Nah. I’m going to pick up Paige. I don’t like the idea of her driving when the roads haven’t been plowed yet.”

“You know she’s a big girl, right?”

“Yep. I have to do this since I may not be able to be there for her next y⁠—"