Page 7 of False Promises

When I heard Jeff’s pickup parking in the driveway sometime later, I should have been able to go to him to ask him a thousand questions, feigning being interested in his night. Instead, I undressed in a hurry, locked myself in the bathroom, and let the stream of scorching water from the shower flush my sorrows away. Until I had no more tears left and I felt a bit lighter.

Not in the mood to cross paths with him in the hallway or attract his attention, I tiptoed to my room and slipped under the covers, watching the clock on my bedside table tick each second. That night, for the first time, I didn’t join Dahlia in her bedroom.

I lay in the dark instead, trying to figure a way out to heal the broken pieces of me and be happy for Dahlia and Jeff, who—I had no doubt—would get together for real sooner than later. I had to toughen myself, and my heart, up before it happened.

* * *

Sara picked me up, and we joined a group of her friends partying in a vacant lot on the outskirts of town. “I’m so glad you came tonight, Carter.”

She kissed me, and I let her. She saw me as a big rock star, even though Carter Hills Band hadn’t been signed yet. The other day, Dahlia surprised me with merch and swag carrying our new band name. She had made the decision to rename our band after me. She didn’t have to, but I appreciated the gesture. Our relationship was still fragile, but since Jeff left for college, we had started spending more time together. All summer, I kept myself busy by writing songs in the comfort of my bedroom, giving them their space and avoiding any awkward encounters. The one time I walked in on my brother and my best friend kissing, it took me two days to erase those images from my mind. No, thank you. They tried very hard to include me when they went out and to avoid getting too close every time I was around, yet I didn’t miss their heated stares and hands touching when they thought I wasn’t looking.

After I decided to give Phoenix’s idea a go, he’d been setting me up with different girls, hoping I would click, like he said, with one. Last week I went on three dates with Tiffany. Now it was Sara. No matter however much I was willing to give it a shot, my heart wasn’t into it. It always felt wrong to date them, to hold their hands, to kiss their lips.

I sighed and pushed my reluctance down, and Sara nestled between my arms, showing me off to her friends as if I were a prize she’d won. “This is my boyfriend, Carter. This is Emily. Chloe. And Chelsea.”

A chill slithered down my back. Sara and I would never be a long-term couple, but perhaps I could still enjoy her company for the time being. As long as she didn’t get clingy, I could do this.

Bile rose in my throat. I had become a version of myself I didn’t recognize.

Not in the mood to play pretend, I left the party early and returned to my room, my sanctuary, to write music. Yeah, this was more like it. My self-therapy.

Tomorrow, we were scheduled to play at Green Mountain Fest, and we had secured a bigger scene this year. The thought of it sent a rush of adrenaline through me. With music as the priority in my life, I could, no pun intended, move mountains.

My phone went off, and I answered after the first ring. The sound of her voice soothed the agitated parts of me. “Ohmygod, Carter, can you believe we’re playing at Green Mountain Fest tomorrow? I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”

“Are you still out with Addi?”

“No, I’m back home. For once, I’m not sad about having a curfew. It will force me to try to catch some sleep. If I can stop pacing the house for more than a minute.”

“We’ll be fine, Dah. You know I have your back. Always.”

“Yeah, I know. I couldn’t do this without you. It’s way too stressful otherwise. My daddy wanted me to tell you we’ll be there at seven in the morning and to be ready.” She hesitated for a second. “Is Sara coming?”

I sighed. I had forgotten I invited her. “She’s driving with her girlfriends. She’ll meet us there. Jeff should arrive after lunch. I’ll drive back with him. He’s coming home afterward.”

Dahlia’s voice softened. “Yeah, he told me when we talked earlier. You must miss him.”

“I’m not used to not having him around to mess with me.”

The truth was that I was dreading how the return of my brother—even for just a few days—would impact the new equilibrium of Dahlia’s and my relationship.

We remained silent for a beat. “Cart, do you wanna maybe come over?”

My heart swelled in my chest. Last week, I was feeling down after arguing with my mother about my poor career choice—yeah, I wanted to be a musician and nothing else. I was good at it. Nah, I was great at it. From the first time I held a guitar, I could play a full song. It was instinctive. Something I could do without being taught. After I locked myself in my room, I changed my mind, ready to sneak out and climb in through Dahlia’s window. We hadn’t had a sleepover in months, but tonight I needed her. Whatever the status of our relationship, she was the one person who could understand me. She got me. Without explanation. And for that lone reason, never would I be able to flush Dahlia Ellis from my life. Even when it hurt me to witness her love for someone else.

A wide smile shaped my lips. “I was hoping you’d say that. And I wrote another song tonight. I can’t wait to play it for you.”

“Ohmygod, you’re on fire, Cart. Maybe you can record it on your phone, and I can listen to it when you get here. I’ll never get tired of hearing all the words and melodies you come up with. It’s fascinating how your brain works. I’ll get us snacks and leave the window open if you get here before I’m back in my room.”

“See you soon.” And just like that, I recorded the song and ran away from the house which sometimes felt like it was suffocating me. If only my parents could support my dreams, things would be so much easier. All they cared about was college, no matter whether it made me or Jeff happy or not. There was more to life than being stuck at a job that didn’t make your soul vibrate. Regardless of how many times I tried to explain it, Mom always said I was silly for believing I’d be one of the lucky ones to make it big and to stop dreaming and come back into the real world.

* * *

After the success of Green Mountain Fest, Carter Hills Band performed all over Tennessee. We got invited to festivals, town gatherings, special events. Dahlia and I were ecstatic. Every day, we could feel our dream becoming a reality. It was right there, ready to be grabbed.

While in college in Nashville and working part-time in a bar, Jeff got us a meeting with a big-shot manager. After he came to see us play, we got signed to a major record label.

Dahlia, Jeff, and I were seated in a booth at Bryce’s Burgers celebrating.