Page 38 of Wicked Love

“I should have pushed her away when she got too close.”

“No. That’s the thing, Joe. You can flirt and kiss or even sleep with whoever you want. You belong to no one, but you. You’re free to follow your heart. And be whoever you wanna be. Don’t let me or anyone else make you feel bad for going after your desires. Or anything you wish for.”

“I didn’t want her. Grace, listen. You gotta believe me. She’s not the one my heart is set on. I’m not used to this. To feel stuff. After my mother’s death, I spent years not caring about anyone else but me. And now I care. I care too fucking much that it scares me. And I’m afraid I’ll mess it up.”

She used her sleeve to dry her teary eyes. “You can’t mess up something that doesn’t exist. I wish it did, but when our parents exchanged vows and said I do, the choice got stolen from us.”

“Don’t talk like we don’t have a chance. I don’t care about society or our parents. It’s we who matter here. Not them. I don’t give a shit about their wedding vows.”

“Joe, from the start, I lied to you. I made you believe things about me that were false. We never stood a chance.”

“I don’t agree. I’ll prove it to you.”

She shook her head. “I’m done with this conversation. I hate fighting with you.”

“Well, I’ll fight for both of us because I’ve seen how you look at me. And no matter how much you try to push me away, I won’t let you. Not because all I want is to get into your pants, but because I believe in you. Your talents. Your heart. The girl I’ve gotten to know amazes me. Every side of her. And I’m proud to be part of her life. Whatever role she’ll let me play in it.” I turned on my heels. “Come on, I’ll drive us home.”

She didn’t budge.

The chilly night breeze swept my face.

I removed my hoodie and went back to her, putting it over her shoulders. “Wear this. You’re cold.”

“Thanks.” Her glossy eyes met mine. “I really hate fighting with you.”

I draped one arm around her shoulders. “Me too.”

Thick silence enveloped us as we climbed into the car, the air so charged that if it were a bomb, it would threaten to explode any second.

“If you wanna talk, I’ll always be there for you,” I said. I glanced at her, but Grace sat motionless in the passenger seat. Defeat shadowed her face, and I hated the realization I put that expression there. At least she had stopped crying after we left Santa’s Lodge.

Neither of us spoke as we unlocked the cabin and petted the sleeping DH on the couch.

“I’m gonna shower,” Grace announced after a while. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Grace—”

She ignored me and went upstairs.

DH nestled in the crook of my elbow. “If only things were simpler.” I buried my fingers in his fur. “I kinda messed up. Not that I did it on purpose. Things are complicated between Grace and me. She’s hurt. I hurt her tonight. I didn’t mean to. We were doing great even though I’m afraid we were just tiptoeing around the giant elephant standing between us. There are too many obstacles in the way for our relationship to be simple. Most of them we have no control over. It’s just… No matter what we are, I’m not ready to lose her. Once we go back to our lives, we won’t see each other anymore. It should make this entire clusterfuck easier, but it will not. How will I be able to protect her from Clarissa if I’m not around?”

DH stared at me.

“I know it’s not in my job description, but I’ve seen the damage that woman can do. Grace will be able to face her, but she gotta learn to love and accept herself fully first.” I stretched on the couch on my back, placing DH on my chest. “Can you keep a secret? If I had the option, I would move her to New York with me. Just so I can put as much distance as possible between her and her mom. Until she comes up with a plan. It’s silly. Don’t tell her, okay? The last thing I want is to freak her out and make this whole situation more complicated than it already is.”

DH curled into a ball in the crook of my neck, falling asleep. Scrolling through my phone, I opened the Mistletoe Creek Holiday schedule.

Tomorrow, Lea was organizing an Eggnog and PJ Breakfast at the inn. Grace would love that. Right after, there was a Take a Picture with Your Pet with Santa photoshoot.

“Hey DH, on a scale from one to ten, how excited would you be to meet Santa Claus tomorrow?”

He didn’t react.

“Yes, I knew you’d be excited too.”

Around midnight, I went to my bedroom. All the lights in Grace’s room were off.

“Joe?” Her voice sounded weak.