Me: Couldn’t stay put for more than a minute.
Me: They asked me to tell you they were proud of you.
Me: …
Me: For what it’s worth, I am too. It’s something amazing you’re teaching them. To get back there. Even if they don’t realize it yet.
Sam: Thanks.
Sam: I hate being far away from them, though. It’s hard. And it’s just been a few hours.
Me: They’re happier when you ARE happy. Want my honest opinion?
I settled lower in my seat, loving how easily our conversation flew, now that we didn’t have to face each other. Or deal with burning desire messing it all up.
Sam: Please. Enlighten me.
Me: You’re a great dad. You’re allowed to put your needs and dreams first sometimes. Don’t feel bad for doing this. I promise you everything is under control. Just enjoy your night.
Sam: …
Sam: Thanks, Maddie. I needed to hear that. Gotta get ready. Riley is knocking on my door.
Sam: Talk to you later.
Me: Night.
Miss you, I added in my head.
I reread our exchange a few times before putting my phone down. Not really tired, but not feeling like playing detective to the bookish characters any longer, I locked myself in my room. For the first time, since I started working here, I cried myself to sleep, feeling lonelier than I had in a long time.
Sad tears for something I could never have.
And happy tears for the man I loved who faced his fears and mental blocks to pursue his dreams.
8
SAM
I exited the dressing room with a determined countenance and a firm back. This was it. The moment my life would all make sense again. Or I hoped it would. Riley met me backstage and clapped my shoulder. “Ready, Stevens?” The jitters had transformed into excitement in the last hour.
“Yeah,” I said, pulling him into a hug. “I can’t believe I went through with your crazy idea, man. But I’m glad I did. Right about now, it seems right.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Just do your thing. Mika and Justine will be proud. I know I am.”
I blinked my emotions away.
“Thanks for believing in me. And thanks for kicking my ass. I needed this. Someone to believe in me again when I didn’t. I’m not sure I would’ve gone through with it if you hadn’t been the one pushing me to.” I coughed to release the emotional rock lodged in my throat.
“Anytime.”
From our spot by the side of the stage, we watched the crowd of expectant fans. I shook my legs, stretched my arms, and cracked my neck. This was the moment I’d been dreaming about for a long time. The one I thought would never happen again.
“It’s a full house.” All my cells vibrated with a renewed verve I wasn’t used to experiencing anymore.
“Make the most of it. For the next two hours, forget everything else.”
I nodded and pulled my friend into one more hug. “I’m thankful you brought me back.”