Page 21 of Rising Star

“What? No. She’ll sleep in her own room.”

“But I’m scared. I want Maddie to sleep upstairs. Next to our room,” Justine said, her lips quivering, the corners of her eyes filling with tears. “What if I have a nightlemare?”

“Nightmare, baby,” I said. “It’s gonna be okay. Maddie will hear you if you wake up in the middle of the night. I found the baby monitors in a box in the garage. We’ll set them up. Together.”

Tears drenched my little girl’s face. “No. I want Mama to sleep upstairs. With us.”

Air frizzled in the kitchen.

The room fell silent.

We could only hear Justine’s sobs. And my deafening heartbeats.

I closed my eyes, trying to come out with a smart reply. We already had this conversation, Justine and I. And I thought she understood.

“She’s not your mama, dummy,” Mikaella said, igniting the already explosive situation.

“Mika. Where did you learn all these words from? For the umpteenth time, be nice to your sister. And stop using this language.”

“Whatever. Justine always wants Maddie to be her mama. It’s stupid.” She lowered her head. “We have a mama. Her name is Lisa.”

I cursed a couple more saints under my breath. At this pace, by the end of the tour, I’d know all their names.

Why did Justine have to open that door right now? This morning, of all things?

Before a well-scripted answer could pass my lips, Madison jumped in.

The first few words left her mouth and carried away the fears swirling inside me

“Sweetie, I can’t sleep in your Daddy’s room because I have my own room. And Mika is right. I’m not your mama. I’m sorry yours isn’t here, but I can’t be her. I can be your nanny, your teacher, and your friend. I can play many roles, but not your mama’s, okay? Do you understand?”

Justine threw a fit, kicking her stool and thumping her tiny fists on the counter. I’d never seen her acting out like this.

My damaged heart plummeted down my chest at a dizzying pace.

“I don’t want Lisa. She’s not my mama. I don’t love her. She’s mean. I want Maddie. I love Maddie. Maddie is my mama. Just Maddie.”

I sprang to my feet and wrapped my arms around my daughter. “Shhh, baby. Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay to be upset. Shhh.” I pulled her against my heart as it fractured into more pieces in my chest. My face rested against her head, her body shaking in my embrace.

Sitting on the floor, I rocked her back and forth, wishing I possessed special powers to repair my child’s wounds.

One look at my watch told me I had one hour left before Riley picked me up.

With my thumb, I wiped the tears cascading down her cheeks. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to be upset. I was too for a moment. Fine, lots of moments. But it’ll be all right. I promise.”

I rocked my baby until the fight left her, not turning in Madison’s direction the entire time, avoiding the look in her eyes. Or maybe because, in that instant, I wished she was the one healing my bruised organ.

Once the air cleared, I tried again. “Let’s go and set those monitors up and see how they work.” With Justine in my arms and Mikaella attached to my hand, we picked up the devices from the garage.

For the next half-hour, the girls and I talked to one another from across the house after we plugged them. Once they were appeased, I gathered my suitcase and guitar and everything I needed for the next two days.

“Here,” I said, placing the keys to my SUV in Madison’s hand.

Her eyes rounded. “Why? I already own a car.”

“Yeah, but I’ll be more at ease if you use mine. Anyway, the girls’ car seats are in there. Take it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of buying you one, to begin with.” She closed her fist around my keyset.

“It’s not necessary, but it’s nice of you. Thanks,” she said in a strangled voice that peppered goosebumps down my back.