Page 43 of Hope and Country

It troubled all parts of my throbbing heart. Its beating hastened. And a set of wings floated it all around my chest.

I cursed at myself when my tongue circled the tip of his finger to lick it clean. Once I did it, I came to my senses and realized the mixed signals it projected.

No way I expected Riley to aspire for a relationship with me.

Even though our connection hadn’t faltered since the night we met and our chemistry was still off-the-charts, I wouldn’t make any assumption and let myself believe Riley bore an interest in me in that way. A year ago, on that rooftop, he did. I could feel it in every particle of my being. But now, even if he looked at me with affection and starving eyes, he always kept me at a safe distance.

Even I couldn’t decide how I hoped our relationship would evolve.

Riley looked part-uncomfortable, part-aroused before me now.

Stop, Devon. You’re imagining things you wish were true. Was I?

To avoid saying something I might regret later or doing the things I had dreamed of for a very long time, I pressed my lips together.

Riley kissed my forehead, and my body turned into a fireworks show. Maybe my imagination wasn’t running so wild after all.

“I’ll be right back,” he said before turning around and leaving briskly.

After he left the room, I breathed easier, my heart calming its pounding too.

Since the night Robbie first laid hands on me, I hadn’t been with any man. After he threatened to end Anthony, I refused to poke the bear. The way I broke things off the next morning over the phone, as if he never mattered to me, still tormented me sometimes. Using harsh words, I made sure he’d never contact me again. For his own protection. In the process, I broke both our hearts, and it took mine a while to heal afterward.

I pushed my stepbrother out of my mind, replacing his face with Riley’s.

Would I let him kiss me if he tried?

Would I let him love me if he asked?

I wanted to say yes. But would the idea of a man touching me freak me out?

Riley wasn’t like any other man I knew. And I couldn’t stop picturing us kissing in my head.

But I wasn’t here to fall for him or take advantage of his selflessness and a huge heart. As soon as we heard from the private investigator and lawyers and Robbie got arrested, I would go back to my life. I’d never overextend my stay for no reason.

No way I’d return to the life I left behind. The idea to redefine myself and start afresh excited me.

Perhaps I’d even move. California, Texas. Or Hawaii. Why not?

I would have no attachments, nothing to keep me from living my life to the fullest. Fall in love. Get a dog. Think about my future. Dream.

Riley came back. My eyes swept over him, and I almost lost my balance. Why did he have to be so handsome? Dressed in a fitted black T-shirt molding his ripped torso and faded blue jeans hanging low on his hips, I failed to look away. And the guy was barefoot. And stupid me had a weakness for barefoot men in the kitchen. My ovaries ached at the sight. Yes, I had it that bad.

While he poured us a glass of wine each, I fanned myself discretely. Why was it suddenly so hot in here?

“I went with red, knowing it could be risky, but I thought we could manage it this time,” he said with a wink, reminding me of our meet-cute. “We have a washer on-site if an accident occurs.”

Ohmygod, was his voice huskier, or was it just in my head?

Nothing made sense anymore.

This thing simmering between us messed with my head. And my heart. And the other parts down south.

A war that pulled me in every direction took place inside me.

I shouldn’t be fantasizing about this man. Our living arrangement was temporary. And I stood in the friendship zone. Soon I’d need to move out and learn how to be on my own again.

With a newfound resolve, I locked all my attraction for the man generous enough to open his home to a beaten-up stranger and clinked my glass with his.