Page 74 of Princess and Country

16

Dahlia

Seconds blended into minutes. Minutes blended into hours. And hours blended into days. The world revolved around me, but I stayed there, frozen, unable to breathe.

The casket disappeared into the freshly shoveled earth, the scent of damp soil filling the air. People talked to me. Some wiped their tears.

All I could hear was my bleeding heart, fighting to stay alive.

The world revolved around me, but still, I stood there, my heels digging into the muddy ground.

The rain stopped, and rays of sunshine peeked from behind the row of magnolia trees.

With both hands, I cradled my growing belly, trying to bring some comfort to the little human growing in there.

Carter’s grip around my waist fastened tight. He leaned in until his face was inches from mine. “Dah, talk to me.” No words came out. My best friend pushed my hair behind my ears and cupped my face. “We need to go. Come on.”

His own tears drowned most of his words. My feet refused to move; my eyes locked on the hole in the ground before us, burying my heart forever.

Carter sobbed, and without a word, he lifted me into his arms, one arm under my knees and the other hooked under my shoulders. My head fell to his chest as sobs strangled me.

“I’ll always be there for you, Dah. And the baby. You’ll never be alone. We’ll get through this. Together.” Carter’s lips lingered on my forehead. I breathed him in—cedarwood and pine—trying to let his scent soothe me as it always did. “I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. Please lean on me. I’ll have your back. I promise.”

My eyes closed, and the darkness enveloped me. Carter’s heartbeat played a comforting melody.

My baby deserved better than a dead father.

And I deserved better than to be a widow at twenty years old.

“I love you, Cart,” I whispered as he pulled me closer to him.

In the shadow of a maple tree, we both crumpled to the rain-drenched, grassy ground, holding on to each other, our tears mixing and our hearts bleeding. Carter sat me on his lap and rested his head in the crook of my neck.

My heart disintegrated.

With two fingers, I twisted my wedding ring around.

“I’m sorry I shut you out. Both of you. It’s all my fault—”

I pulled Carter’s head to my chest and raked my fingers through his hair. “Cart, we both did stuff we’re not proud of. But this wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. Don’t blame yourself. Sudden cardiac arrests happen. All the time.”

Clinging to each other, we cried until we had no more tears left.

And then we cried some more because we both had lost a huge slice of our hearts.

Forever.