Page 68 of Princess and Country

She offered me a shy smile, and it soothed some of my angst.

“You’re sure about this? I don’t want you to make any rushed decisions. You have a few months off. Perhaps you should take some time to think it over.”

“Jeff, I won’t change my mind. I want us. We’ve put ourselves on the back burner for too long. I hate living in hotel suites and having people chase me in the streets. Sure, I love music, but this life isn’t for me. I’ll choose quiet family and fun with you over any fame. I’m telling you; I’ll be happier this way.”

I relaxed my shoulders. Drunk on Dahlia’s eyes, I offered her a crooked smile.

“That honeymoon thing just got more interesting, Princess.”

I winked at her, and her hands traveled back to my crotch. Her grip on me tightened.

“If you don’t stop, we’ll never make it through dinner. Are the pregnancy hormones supposed to make you hornier from the start?”

Dahlia’s smile doubled its size. “It’s not the hormones. It’s you. You’re making me horny.”

I could die right now, and I’d die a lucky man.

* * *

The bottle of whiskey crashed on the wall inches from my head. “What the actual fuck, little bro?” I asked as I took in the fury in Carter’s glazed eyes. “Have you lost your mind?”

Carter pinned me against the wall with his stare in a way he’d never done before. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides; his knuckles turned white. The pulse in his neck, visible from where I stood, picked up, and his eyes became the laser beams shredding me to pieces.

Darkness swirled around him as his demons took over and buried everything good in him into a hollow pit.

“Just get the fuck out,” he barked, the air in the room getting heavier by the second.

“Man, we’re supposed to be boarding the plane right now. Everyone’s worried about you. We need to go.” I took a skittish step in his direction, my hands raised in surrender. I kept my tone low and steady. “Never thought the idea of getting a three-month break after traveling the world for the last eight months would do that to you.”

My attempt at a joke backfired.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know, big bro. For everyone’s sake, keep your stupid mouth shut.”

And then it hit me. Damn it. I cringed. Why didn’t I think about it first?

I braced myself, firmed my back, and cleared my throat. “Did Dahlia talk to you last night?”

“You bet she did. She—”

The madness in my brother’s eyes splashed the entire hotel suite. Red-hot splatters made of blood. Right from his heart.

I stepped forward, but he cocked his head to the side, his eyes shut. I waited. One, two, three, ten minutes. When Carter’s eyes opened and drifted back to me, they were bloodshot and glossy. His throat worked. With the heels of his hands over his face, he hid his tears from me.

“I—I’m sorry. For everything.” I swallowed the rock lodged in my throat. “I know you love her. That you’ve always loved her.” I fought my own tears back and raked my hands through my hair. “But I feel for her too. Even when we were just kids. It has always been her, Cart. No matter how hard I tried to stay away, she was pulling me in, without even knowing it. I’m so sorry—”

Carter snorted, his hands still covering his pain-tinged face.

When he moved his hands down, I stopped breathing. We faced each other, and for the first time in my life, a rift separated us. An endless black hole ready to swallow us both in. Carter and I stood on opposite sides of the chasm, and I had no idea how to reach out to him. How to save him from so much suffering. We fought about Dahlia before, but this time was different. She was pregnant with my child. We were getting married. Carter could never have her. And I felt for him. Bad.

He cleared his throat. “I—” But the words died on his tongue. He collapsed on the floor, his legs folded, and his head buried between his knees. My heart broke as I witnessed his distress. My baby brother had always been the strong one. The fun one. The happy one. The smart one. My heart hurt because right now, I was the reason he was in agony. Me. His older brother—the one who was supposed to watch over him, to protect him—and I failed him. He trusted me, and I tore his heart apart by falling for his best friend. And she was also quitting the band—their band—to spend more time with me.

My chest split in two.

Wiping my tears in the crook of my elbow, I squatted down beside my brother and pulled him into my arms.

Sobs rocked his body.

“I’m sorry. Just know I never planned to break your heart. I’ll give you your space. To heal. And I hope one day you’ll forgive me. And find your soulmate too. The one you’re supposed to be with.”