Page 5 of Princess and Country

Dahlia

Fifteen years old

“I’m almost done with this math homework. Are you still on for rehearsal tonight?” I asked Carter as he lay on my bedspread, on his stomach, his legs crossed at the ankles. He looked good as he focused on the paper in front of him. His hair, now longer, reached mid-ears, which I liked a lot.

Last year, after our radio interview with Mark’s father, which got us a dozen gigs in the following months, Carter decided we should write our own songs. We were good at coming up with melodies, but putting words around those chords turned out to be a tedious task. I wasn’t that interested in this side of music, but Carter had the will and talent to write lyrics. He loved poetry and had always got straight As in composition for English class. In the last four months, Carter had come up with two original songs. We now had three including the one he wrote last year that we played at the radio interview.

My eyes took him in as he chewed on his ballpoint pen, oblivious to anything I said.

As I leaned closer, Carter snapped out of his daze and met my eyes. His turned darker as they gave me a once-over. A sly smile appeared at the corner of his lips. My eyes lingered on his mouth. A few months back, I’d started wondering if Carter would ever kiss me. Some days I wanted him to. And some days, I thought it would be weird. I’d never kissed anyone before, but would kissing my best friend feel like kissing my own brother? Not that I had a brother, though. But Carter was the closest thing to a sibling that I had. Ugh. I had mixed feelings about my attraction to him. Every time his eyes locked on mine though, my heart raced in my chest.

I loved and feared the sensation.

All the girls at school now noticed him too. But Carter turned them down when they asked him on dates or fought to get his attention.

And I’d noticed something else.

Carter never looked at any of those girls the same way he looked at me. With some sort of fondness in his eyes. And I had no idea why.

We had this strong chemistry going on between us. Could I be wrong about Carter’s feelings toward me? Our friendship was so powerful; it overpowered my rational thoughts.

The other night, we went to the movies with a bunch of our friends, and Carter held my hand the entire night as if he were afraid I’d vanish. My heart drummed in my chest for hours afterward. I thought he’d say something to me on our way back—or the next day—but nothing. My best friend was giving me mixed signals.

Carter, still lying on my bed, gave me a quizzical stare.

“Sorry, got lost for a moment,” I said. A warm flush crept up my cheeks.

He tipped my chin up with his finger. “Everything all right, Dah?”

I bobbed my head. Like a stupid girl with a forbidden crush. “Sure. Was wondering if you were still on for rehearsal tonight.”

“Yeah. I’m stuck. I can’t write this song, anyway.” Carter smiled at me, and my pulse accelerated. I breathed faster.

Carter Hills was sweet, generous, and ambitious. Would kissing him put our relationship at risk? Or would I one day feel his lips on mine, his hands around my waist, and his heart beating against mine?

I chased the thought away, feeling ridiculous.

“I’m done with my homework. I’ll meet you at your place in an hour.”

Carter brushed a strand of my copper hair away from my forehead. Tingles lined my spine.

“Sure,” he said, jumping to his feet. He adjusted his shirt and ran downstairs. From the living-room window, I watched him as he walked away, my insides coiled in a tight knot and a prickling sensation at the back of my neck. Warmth rushed to my cheeks. Growing up was so confusing.