Page 154 of Pink and Country

With my girl beside me, I gained some much-needed courage. I held my breath as a letter and a smaller sealed envelope fell into my hands.

My heart jack-hammered in my chest. If it were a bird, it would have flown away a long time ago. I didn’t have what it took to deal with what I’d been avoiding for so long.

My hands trembled. April unfolded the letter and placed it back in my hands.

With a quivering breath and a shaky voice, I read it out loud. April deserved to know everything it said.

Dear Carter,

I’m giving you this because I owe you the right to know the truth about Jack’s biological father.

Whatever the results of the test, Jack will always be a part of you and will always be yours to love. I’ll respect your wish, whatever you decide to do in the light of the results, if you choose to look at them. Knowing how stubborn you are, I’m pretty sure you’re older now and still debating if you should open the envelope or not. Your love for Jack will never change. You’ll always love him like your own. You’ll be (or were) there for his first steps and on each birthday. Someday, you’ll teach him how to drive and mouth the pickup lines when he’ll be big enough to get a girlfriend. You’ll comfort him when he’s heartbroken and show him how to transpose his feelings into music. I just know you two will bond over this. It’s written in the skies. Every time my eyes land on his long fingers, I think of you. I hear you saying he has the fingers of a musician.

Carter, I know you. Like nobody else. But if you’re thinking about these test results all these years later, it’s because you need to know. You owe it to yourself. You’ll be forever haunted if you don’t find out. If that wasn’t the case, you would’ve got rid of this envelope a long time ago. Or the day I gave it to you. I don’t need to know who Jack’s biological dad is because in my mind, and in my heart, both Jeff and you are. He’s the perfect mix of you two. I’m sure he’ll have your drive and talent and Jeff’s humor and patience.

It’s time for you to live your life, Carter. It’s time for you to love and open your heart. Someone special will enter your life when you are ready. Never let her go. You’ll need her as much as she’ll need you. She’ll be fearless and beautiful. She’ll have the biggest heart, as big as yours, and challenge you to be the best version of yourself. Hold on to her with all you’ve got.

Never stop shining, amazing star, your light makes all of us better.

I’ll love you forever,

Dahlia xx

I reread the last part twice because tears clouded my vision. And my voice cracked. April snorted beside me, and she looked as much an emotional mess as I probably did.

I tore open the sealed envelope and read the results.

My heart plummeted down my chest. Air couldn’t come in and out of my lungs. My body temperature rose. Should I feel happy? Sad? Relieved? I had no fucking idea.

“I’m not his dad, April.” Whoa, saying it out loud made it real. All the bottled-up emotions I’d kept in all these years surfaced. “I’m glad he’s Jeff’s because it means he gets to live through Jack, but somehow, I always hoped he was mine too. I wanted to be a dad since the day I found out Dah was pregnant—”

My eyes filled with tears. I snorted.

April stood between my legs and wrapped her arms around me.

She leaned closer, and her warm breath tickled my cheek.

“What if I told you, you are going to be a dad, Carter?” April cocked her head to meet my eyes, a slight blush reddening her cheeks, her eyes watery, and a soft curve lifting her lips.

I wiped my tears with the hem of my shirt.

April intertwined our fingers and stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

“Are you kidding? Because if you are, it’s not funny.” I swallowed the lump blocking my airways and blinked a few times to clear my foggy vision.

April huffed out a breath. “I found out two days ago.”

“What? You did? And you didn’t tell me? Why?”

“Because you said you’d open the letter, and I didn’t want to steal this moment from you. It took you six years to find the courage to go through with it. I’m telling you now. I can’t hide the truth anymore. I just hope it’s really what you want.”

I rose to my feet and lifted her in my arms, burying my head in the crook of her neck, and her lavender scent filled my nostrils.

My hands cupped her cheeks, and I swam in her baby-blue irises. “It’s everything I want. It’s us. It’s upside down. It’s messy. It’s beautiful.” I laid her carefully on her back and lifted her shirt over her head to drop a kiss on her belly. “Hold on tight, baby girl. Daddy needs to show your mama how much he loves her.”

April’s head sprang up from the mattress. “Baby girl?” she asked with a tipped brow.

“Yeah. I dreamed about her the other night. She’ll look just like you. I thought it was just a dream—” My voice stuck in my throat. April nodded.