Page 144 of Pink and Country

The dream replayed in my head, and a hint of a smile curved my lips. I relaxed. A bit.

My last night with Travis played back in my head. I’d promised him I’d never stop living. What was I doing? Here I was, letting life—and people I didn’t even know—stomp on me, without fighting back. Travis’s last words sowed a seed of courage inside me. Ready—or almost ready—to stand up and fight for my honor, I touched up my hair color, making the pink shimmer, treated myself to a long hot shower, and dressed in real clothes. No more dirty, faded hair, stained shirts, and yoga pants. With a lighter heart, I applied a little makeup to hide the dark circles around my eyes and added a pop of color to my ghostly-white complexion.

Taylor sat in my kitchen, reading the newspapers on his tablet, a cup of tea beside him.

He preferred coffee in the morning but had taken some of my habits over the weeks we’d spent together in the last two months.

He raised his eyes when I walked in and nodded his approval.

What could pass as a smile stretched my lips.

“Today, I’ll deal with all this,” I said, a tiny flame of confidence igniting inside me. Yeah, I could do this.

“I’m glad you’re doing better. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

“Thanks. First, I’ll call Mrs. Benson. It’s long overdue.” The Bensons were collateral damage in all this mess, and I intended to apologize for all the scrutiny and bad publicity my relationship with Carter brought them. After all, I was the one who got involved with a country music star.

Not them.

Not Travis.

Me.

I’d show the world their webs of lies wouldn’t destroy me.

I ate breakfast with Taylor while we discussed my plans. I didn’t care if he mouthed everything to Carter. He was his boss and his friend first. He had more rights over him than I did.

After Travis’s death, I grew a thick skin. This time, I needed to grow a thicker one. An armor.

No one would belittle me. Time to stand up for myself.

* * *

Saunders arrived before noon for our Saturday baking session.

“I tried to call Mrs. Benson thrice, but it always goes straight to voice mail. Do you think they’re being harassed by the press? Or they hate me?” I sighed. Were they ghosting me just when we finally made up?

“Don’t worry about them, you’ve got enough going on right now. Give them some time. I’m sure they’ll come around.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but I’d feel better knowing they’re okay. Maybe I’ll drive to their place in a few days if I have no news. Just to make sure.” I rubbed my flour-covered hands on a plaid kitchen rag.

“Where’s Reed? You two have been joined at the hips lately.” My best friend poked me in the ribs. “Ouch, Saund. That hurts,” I grumbled, laughing.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the peace all around me.

My heart flitted. My old self made an appearance today. The boulder in my stomach had shrunk a little. I blew out a cleansing breath.

“His brother is in town, and they had some ‘guy stuff’ to deal with,” she said with air quotes. “I refuse to partake in their sibling shenanigans. They’re back to being twelve-year-olds when they’re together. Anyway, I much prefer spending my Saturday with you. We haven’t seen each other enough in the last two months.” Saunders lowered her voice and wrinkled her face. “Sorry, didn’t think it through.”

“It’s okay, Saund. We can talk about it. I need to talk about Carter without breaking up into pieces.” I sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Have you talked to him?”

I shook my head, keeping it down. “Why would I? It’d just complicate everything. I don’t know where I stand anymore.” The emotions bubbled inside me. I closed my eyes, refusing to crumble in tears today. “I changed my mind. Let’s not talk about him.”

“Remember that time we went camping by the river during sophomore year?”

“Ohmygod, that was epic.” My mood switched at the memory. “It was Travis’s idea. Such a horrible one.” I cupped my mouth with one hand, laughing so much that I had cramps.