Page 98 of Talk to Me

“I don’t give a—”

“—and I told him what was going on was wrong.” Collin kept me from interrupting. “I told him he needed to get over what happened with Theo and move on. Do something else with his channel, right? I told him I wasn’t going to give him any more pictures or details about you and Theo. Because, obviously, I was wrong. I got myself so twisted up in my head, thinking about how I was protecting you, but that was stupid.”

“You think?”

“All because I got wrapped up in the online drama.” Collin shook his head. “I got obsessed with those little nuggets of drama Ben was feeding everyone, and thought that I was doing the right thing. I wasn’t. And I’m sorry.”

“Again,” I said, leveling him with his eyes, “why do you think I would ever forgive you just because you said you’re sorry?”

“I don’t expect you to,” Collin said. “But that’s not the only reason I came here.”

“Then what else is there?” I asked.

“I came here to,” Collin began, thought for a second, as though unsure of himself, then started again, “convince you to talk to Theo. Call him. Tell him that you want to talk to him about everything, and once you guys work things out, I want to apologize to him. Tell him that I convinced Ben to drop all the shit, and that you guys can make up, keep dating, and I’ll apologize once you’ve worked out things between each other.”

I stared at Collin.

“Why would you do that?” I asked, suspicious. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

Collin gave me a meek look.

“Because everyone has been ragging on me long enough about hating on you that I finally started to think about what was really going on,” Collin said, sheepishly.

Whatever I’d expected Collin to say, I hadn’t expected it to be that he was actually confronted with his own stupidity. I’d expected him to say something ridiculous, like our friendship meant more than the betrayal, or that forgiveness was a virtue. I’d expected him to plea to any goodness I held inside of me. When he responded with the fact that he had examined his own shortcomings, I suddenly realized that he might be sincere in his desire to atone for what he’d done.

“I’ll go,” Collin said quickly. “I’m going to leave my books and stuff, but I’ll go to Dylan’s tonight. You can have the room to talk to Theo and talk it all out, and I’ll come back tomorrow and apologize once you text me and give me the all clear. I won’t interfere in any way. I swear.”

Contemplating whether or not to trust Collin, I realized that no matter how I felt about whether or not I wanted to be friends with him ever again, I did need to talk to Theo. I’d promised Arthur that I would try to talk to Theo about everything. Knowing now that Collin was sorry and was going to stop spying on us, and that Ben was going to stop harassing Theo, and that everyone on Peepers was worn out on the drama, there was no better time.

Maybe if Theo knew all of those things, he’d be more willing to talk.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll try to talk to Theo.”

Collin gave me a cautious smile.

“Good,” he said finally. “I’ll go, okay? You…do what you need to do with Theo.”

Collin rose from his desk chair and grabbed his lanyard, leaving his pile of school supplies on his desk, and the bag by his chair.

“Text me tomorrow, okay?” he asked as he grabbed his duffel off the bed. “And if you give me the all clear, I’ll meet you guys to give him a sincere apology, okay? Even if you guys don’t accept it, that’s the least I can do.”

The very fucking least, I thought to myself.

I didn’t say it.

There’d been enough meanness over the last several months.

“Okay,” I said simply.

Collin walked to the door and I pulled my phone from my pocket. Standing in the open door, Collin turned, and I looked up. He started to say something, thought better of it, and gave me a smile. Then he shut the door behind him.

For a moment, I found myself staring down at my phone, but I knew there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Either Theo would hear me out, or he’d ignore me. So, I opened my text app and composed a quick, to-the-point message.

I’ve talked to Collin and he has apologized. He wants to apologize to you tomorrow if you will listen. He said he’s talked to Ben and convinced him to stop harassing you. I miss you and want to talk to you. If you still like me and miss me, please come talk to me.

I stared at the words, then smiled before adding a final thought at the end.

Arthur says we need to talk to each other. I don’t want to disappoint him.