Page 75 of Talk to Me

The short video of Theo being approached by some guy at the bonfire, then being slipped a piece of paper played. Theo looked uncomfortable in the video, especially with how close the other guy in the video pushed in against him when passing him his number.

“That’s Thoe Hendrix,” Ben showed up on screen again, “getting a phone number from some guy at the Midway University Halloween Bonfire. So…even though he’s got that new boyfriend, he’s still playing the field. I wonder if his new boyfriend knows? He probably thought Theo had changed his ways…but a leopard never changes its spots. I think that this speaks for itself. Theo is and will always be a horrible person. Period. I’m glad he’s finally showing his true colors to the world.”

The video ended with Ben grinning smugly into the camera.

Enraged as I scrolled the comments—ninety percent of which were eviscerating Theo’s character—I desperately wished I could punch Ben Carter in his smug, smarmy face.

If I was to be totally honest with myself, I couldn’t be mad at him for being bitter about Theo cheating on him during their relationship. Telling another person how to react to a betrayal was not something I would ever do. However, using me as a weapon in his war against Theo was crossing the line. Especially since he was lying in order to further his cause.

Even though it was against everything in my nature, I found myself sitting up in bed. I turned around until my back was against the beige cinderblock wall and crossed my legs so that I was sitting up and staring at my phone. I tapped my thumb furiously against my phone until I’d pulled up my Peeper’s page. I took several deep breaths, collected my thoughts, and quickly decided on a script.

I tapped my thumb against the video option. I showed up on screen and a countdown clock appeared atop the view of me from my camera. Counting down from three, I waited until the clock was gone and only my face and the wall behind me showed on screen. Taking a deep breath, I looked directly into the camera and spoke.

“Hey, uh, everyone? I’m Josh Montag. I’ve never posted here before—so excuse me if this video is bad. But I’m going to make this video short, sweet, and to the point. Theo Hendrix and I are friends. We are not dating. Anything you see on the internet that says he is cheating on me is a lie—because we are not a couple. We became friends here at Midway and did a duo costume when we attended the Midway University Halloween bonfire because it was fun, funny, and that’s what the holiday is supposed to be. That’s…it. Theo is free to get numbers from anyone and flirt with anyone and date anyone because he is not currently dating anyone else. I’m glad you all had a few hours of entertainment, but he hasn’t harmed me or our friendship in any way. Hope that helps us all get on the same page here. Uh, have a great night and stuff.”

Then I tapped the “stop” button at the bottom of the screen and the video ended. Over the top of my phone, I noticed Collin eyeing me from his desk, but I ignored him. I tapped out a quick text caption for the video, and out of a decisive act of pettiness, tagged Ben Carter and Theo Hendrix. Then I clicked the “upload” button before I could talk myself out of it.

When a “woosh” sounded in my ears, I closed Peepers, locked my phone, laid it down, and ripped my earbuds out of my ears. I tilted my head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. After a second, I unlocked my phone, put it back on airplane mode, and locked it again. I tossed it onto my pillow at the head of the bed.

Sighing I stared up at the ceiling, hoping I hadn’t made things worse for Theo. However, I knew that if I sat by and watched him get dogpiled once again, I’d never be able to live with myself. In my heart, I knew I’d done the thing that was right for me. Whether or not it was any good for Theo was yet to be seen. I wasn’t going to sit by my phone and wait to find out, though. Instead, I was going to go on about my life and get ready for the last weeks of the semester.

“You know,” Collin said suddenly, “covering for him isn’t going to make him more faithful.”

Jerking, I tilted my head to look across the room at Collin.

“What?” I asked.

“He’s not going to like you more and be more faithful just because you make excuses for him,” Collin snipped. “Once a cheater, always a cheater. He’s going to keep betraying you until you can’t take it anymore and you’ll be sorry you made that video.”

I stared at Collin blankly.

“We. Are. Not. Dating,” I said.

Collin rolled his eyes.

“Theo and I are just friends,” I said. “Collin, I’ve barely even seen you in two months. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

Collin slapped his laptop shut, stuffed it in his bag, and jumped up from his desk. He slung his bag over his shoulder and marched to the door. With his hand on the doorknob, he turned to me, his eyes lit up with anger.

“I know that enabling a cheater makes you a piece of shit, Josh,” he said.

Before I could respond, he ripped the door open, marched out, and slammed it behind him. The thought to go rub my bare asshole on Collin’s pillow crossed my mind. Instead of being petty—and possibly giving my former best friend pink eye—I toppled over on the bed. Curling up on my side, I laid my head on my pillow and drifted off into the kind of deep sleep that can only be achieved when someone is emotionally exhausted.

People stared at me and whispered as I walked to classes the following day. Having thought about the situation with Theo while getting ready for classes in the morning, I’d taken my earbuds with me. On the way to my first class, and on the way to every subsequent class, I listened to music. Blocking out the stares and whispers was what I decided was the best course of action. I’d said my piece on Peepers the night before, set things straight, and there was nothing else I could do. I had no control over what people felt or thought otherwise, so I wasn’t going to pay attention to it.

Instead of focusing on the things I didn’t have control over, I went into tunnel vision mode. In classes, I zeroed in on my professors, having only eyes and ears for them. I barely noticed the stares and whispers, blocking out almost all of it. Between classes, I focused on the music and lyrics pouring from my earbuds, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. If someone attempted to speak to me, I pretended I didn’t see or hear them.

Even with my resolve to ignore everyone at Midway besides my professors, I couldn’t ignore the one person who could get past my defenses.

Me.

What Collin had said the night before in our dorm kept echoing through my brain.

Though the things Ben had said about Theo and me were a complete fabrication—I was definitely not a jilted lover—he actually was. Being mad about him assuming things about our friendship was valid. However, I couldn’t completely paint Ben as a villain if I thought about things from an empathetic viewpoint. Regardless of the lack of truth in his video about Theo and me, he had every right to hold a grudge against Theo.

When a person is betrayed by a loved one, it’s easy to see why they may lash out. Even after a lot of time has passed since the betrayal. Regardless of what was said in Ben’s video, the fact remained that he had every right to hate Theo. I couldn’t hold that against him. The only thing I could truly be mad about was that I’d been dragged into their feud. I was collateral damage and I’d done nothing to be deserving of it. Ben’s feud was with Theo, not me.

I could be upset for myself, but I also couldn’t stop myself from feeling the tiniest bit sad for Ben. It was obvious the guy was aching and lashing out.