Page 21 of A Straight Line

“Trikes have three.”

“Then you complete the set,” Denny said, grabbing another chair, “Unless you’re talking about a car. They have four. But a fifth wheel really won’t throw off it off-kilter.”

“Depends on the quality and placement of the tire.”

“If we’re stuck on using ‘third’ in the analogy, why not third nipple? Or third eye? Third testicle?” He asked.

“More to play with in some cases.” I smiled to myself.

Denny was laughing again.

Once we both had five of the light folding chairs under each of our arms, twenty between the two of us, we scooted out of the garage carefully. We didn’t want to ding Harry’s and Vic’s Lincoln, and we didn’t want to chip the paint in the garage doorframe, after all. The elders cheered when they saw us arriving with all of the chairs. Obviously, they were well into starting their evening buzz, getting ready for the party that hadn’t quite started yet.

“Just lean them against the house there!” Uncle Vic shouted when he saw us coming towards them. “People can help themselves if they want a seat. Let’s not get too fussy, boys.”

“We have Si for that.” Felix quipped.

“Stick a dick in it, you old hag.” Simon burped.

“Gladly,” Felix said before taking a swig of his beer.

Denny and I ignored the elders and went about leaning stacks of chairs against the side of the house, once again being careful to not ding anything in the process. Uncle Harry and Uncle Vic might be forgiving, but a bunch of catty gay men watching meant that any mistake was the opportunity for ridicule, even if it was meant in good fun. I didn’t know how Denny would deal with being teased so viciously by the elders, but it wasn’t something I enjoyed immensely.

“They’re all going to be absolutely impossible to deal with by the end of the night,” Denny remarked once we had the chairs in place.

“Yeah,” I said. “Once they’re loaded, and the sun goes down, it’ll be bedlam.”

“I can’t wait.” He rubbed his hands together evilly. “It will be delicious.”

“I suppose.”

”Bird!” Felix shouted from across the yard. “It’s not a real party until we have music. Play something good for us old queers!”

“You got it!” Bird shouted from the DJ booth.

I looked over to see that he had headphones slipped on, one over his ear, and the other pushed back to leave the other free to hear. The visual completed the whole “DJ aesthetic.” We all waited for a few moments as Bird did…whatever it was he did on his laptop to make the music play…and then Boogie Shoes by K.C. and the Sunshine Band started to pour from the speakers. I jumped at the sudden noise, especially since it was accompanied by cheers from the elders.

Denny laughed as Uncle Vic and Uncle Harry rose from their chairs to waddle over to the Bluestone patio. Both men kept their beers in hand as they began to, well, boogie, bumping hips and shuffling their feet around, not a care in the world. Soon, Felix and Simon—obviously having resolved their feud for a few moments—joined Harry and Vic on the patio to, again, boogie. Denny fist pumped for the men and hollered out encouragement as the four older men tore a rug across the massive patio. I couldn’t help but smile at seeing my uncles act so young, dancing around their patio, smiling and happy as could be.

“So,” Denny turned to me, “I said I’d save a dance for you. Wanna claim it now?”

He held a hand out to me.

“Nah.” I waved him off. “Make one of the elders’ day and let them dance with a young guy.”

“Hey,” Denny’s smile wilted a bit, “God didn’t give us boogie shoes to not use them.”

“Well, he gave chickens wings, and they can’t even fly.”

“But they make excellent appetizers.” Denny’s smile returned. “Silver linings, Russ.”

“Yeah,” I said, “but you have to kill the chicken. They probably don’t see that as a silver lining.”

Denny just stared at me.

“Go on.” I waved him off. “Phil looks like he wants a dancing partner.”

Denny glanced over at what remained of the semi-circle of elders, a frown slowly blooming on his face, which he tried to mask by forcing a smile back to his lips. After a moment, he retracted his hand and stepped away. I watched him as he traversed the yard and offered his hand to Phil. I couldn’t help but smile at the delighted way that Phil snatched at the extended hand and hauled himself out of his lawn chair. Phil passed his beer to Frank and let Denny lead him over to the patio to dance with the others. So, I popped open a lawn chair and sat down by the edge of the house where Denny had left me, and watched everyone utilize their boogie shoes.