Page 44 of Jacob Michaels is Not Here

“They want me to be part of their pack.”

“They’re a gang or something?”

“No.” Lucas looked green. “They’re werewolves.”

Then I was submerged, gulping in water, and flailing for my life.

Jerking up to a sitting position, frothy bubbles covered my eyes, and my hands reached out to grip the slick sides of the cast iron tub as I sputtered and tried to fill my lungs with air. I was still coughing when I reached up to wipe my eyes clear of the lavender bubble bath Oma always kept in the bathrooms. I had sloshed water over the side of the tub and created a fairly impressive puddle that would need to be sopped up before one of the Kobolds saw it. If Oskar or Lena saw the mess I had made, they wouldn’t curse me out, but I would be getting the stink eye for an entire week at the least.

Sputtering, I dunked back under the water again to get the rest of the bubbles out of my hair and off of my face before I sat upright again. I pulled my knees up to my chest in the still warm water and looked out at the bathroom with stinging eyes. I had fallen asleep. Smart move, Rob. After leaving Jason’s house, giving him the money for Katie’s funeral expenses, and somehow managing to avoid his sexual advances, I had wanted a bath. I wanted to wash the smell and thought of Jason off of me. Oma’s lavender bubble bath seemed like the perfect way to do that.

I shivered, though I wasn’t cold, as I looked out at nothing from my spot within the deep tub. The old claw-foot tub was so deep that the water came up to mid-chest on me as I sat there holding my knees against my torso. It felt like having someone give birth to me, half in and out of the womb. If I sunk back under the water, would I feel safe, warm, and insulated from the dank, dark ugliness of my world?

For a decade, I had spent so much time being Jacob Michaels—A-list movie star and international rock star—and forgetting who I really was that even getting my memories back hadn’t really reformed me as Rob Wagner. Memories are not trustworthy all of the time. Perception and our own wants and desires help mold them, and as time passes, those wants and desires shape them even more. I had remembered that Jason and his pack had actually wanted to recruit Lucas to be part of their pack before I had jumped into the well when I was sixteen-years-old. But my mind had pushed out the peripheral information, the things I hadn’t realized were important to the story at the time I made the memories. Things like Lucas telling me that Jason didn’t care if he caught us kissing. That didn’t matter to him.

Obviously, that part of the memory would have been helpful to have before I had gone to Jason’s house to deliver the wad of cash.

Remembering that Lucas had wanted to protect me from what might happen if the pack thought I was in the way was important, too. Lucas wanted to protect me from bad things, just as I wanted to protect him from bad things. We were both fighting similar battles but on different fronts. If we weren’t careful, a battalion of soldiers was going to separate us while we were distracted. But Lucas had no idea what battles we were fighting. He didn’t have his memories back like I did.

Water flew as I reached up to slap myself on the side of my head in rapid-fire succession, my teeth gritting together as I willed myself to not get emotional. I was so confused and disoriented and…I felt like a giant ass. Everything that had happened—before Jacob Michaels and after Jacob Michaels—was entirely my fault. But then again…there had only been one other choice at the time. Sure, if I had thought out my wishes a little better, worded them better, maybe there would have been more, or better, choices. Since you can’t always change the past—even with magic—I had to admit that I had royally fucked things up.

Just as I was set to slap myself in the head again, a modified type of self-flagellation, Ernst peeked his head out of the linen closet. I sniffled roughly, making sure that my emotions were in check before I looked over at him. I was going to make a joke about “knocking first,” but Ernst seeing me naked was nothing new. The joke would have fallen flat, especially with a Kobold.

“Hey, Ernst,” I said blandly.

“Are ya’ okay, Rob?”

“I’m fine.” I gave him my best ‘Jacob Michaels’ smile. “I just fell asleep for a minute and tried to drown myself.”

I capped that off with a laugh that I hope sounded genuine.

Ernst smiled pitifully at me.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” His little ears wiggled as his eyes lit up. “The mistress is in-a rather righ’ state, though.”

“Isn’t she always?” I snorted.

“She, uh,” Ernst looked around, “she’s dow’ in the cellar diggin’ at the dirt, Rob. Cursin’ and-a diggin’.”

Without meaning too, I burst out with laughter. I had to put a hand over my mouth in an effort to stop myself. Thinking about Oma flipping her lid, the realization of the well actually being gone, and digging at the dirt like a crazy old hag made me want to laugh until I died. Before I knew it, tears were coming to my eyes from trying to keep myself from laughing. Ernst smiled oddly at me as his ears wiggled. Finally, I was able to calm myself down and push the visual of Oma digging at the cellar floor out of my head.

“Well, Oma’s gone ‘round the bend.” I shrugged. “We all knew it would happen sooner or later, Ernst.”

“I ‘spose.” Ernst replied. “She wen’ dow’ there right after he showed up.”

Ernst hooked a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of my bedroom.

“He…?”

My eyes widened as I stood quickly from the tub, water splashing everywhere as I reached for my towel. Ernst leaped out of my way as I dried myself hastily and rather poorly, then wrapped the towel around my waist. I dashed for my bedroom, prepared to face whoever had the nerve to come to Oma’s house and enter my bedroom without my permission. When I tore open the bathroom door and stomped into the bedroom, my right hand already feeling warm, my eyes immediately began looking for my target.

“Hey, babe.”

I jumped as Lucas’ voice came from my bed. He was laid out on my bed comfortably, only in his boxers, reading a book. I looked over at Ernst, an irritated look on my face. Ernst shrugged and ushered me away. As he was closing the bathroom door behind me, I saw him grab a towel and start mopping at the water on the floor.

“When did you get here?” I asked stupidly.