Page 5 of Jacob Michaels is Not Crazy

“Okay.” She rolled her eyes as her hands went back to her hips. “So, he’s a werewolf. I didn’t exactly know that now did I?”

“So…we’re just throwing that word around like it’s not crazy as shit, huh?”

“Which word?”

“Don’t play dense with me, you crazy old woman.”

“Where was you?”

“Where was you?!?” I snapped back.

“Oooooh, sassy today, are we?” Oma leaned against the sink edge. “Go on one bad date and suddenly you’re full of piss and vinegar and out to blame me for all of it?”

“Are you insane?!?” I practically shrieked. “You set me up with a goddamn werewolf. In the history of all dates set up by meddling family members, this takes the goddamn cake, Oma! And…werewolf! A fucking werewolf! Andrew is a goddamn werewolf and fucking werewolves are real! And you knew they were real!”

“Well, of course, they’re real.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get your pressures up. It’s not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. There’s all kinds of things some of us know nothing about. No reason to give yourself a goddamn stroke, though. You’re perfectly fine, ain’tcha?”

“I can think of a fucking mile-long list of people who would disagree with everything you just said.”

She shrugged.

“Lucas is gay.” I spat.

“Well, yes.” She shrugged again. “I suppose he is.”

“You didn’t think that was information you should have shared with me?” I bellowed. “I made a goddamn fool of myself acting like he was just this cool dude I was going to be friends with…and…”

“Really?” She smirked. “You almost got ate by a werewolf last night like you was wearing a red cape on your way to grandma’s house and you’re worried about making a fool of yourself in front of Lucas?”

“Fuck you, old woman!” I pointed a finger at her.

“Don’t you jab your goddamn finger at me.” She actually jumped back, putting her back against the sink.

I lowered my hand but didn’t back down. “After what happened to me last night, I should be jabbing every fucking finger at you.”

“Oh, calm down.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re fine. Well, fine-ish. Andrew’s gone, he’s learnt his lesson, and life goes on. Tra-la-la. He won’t be bothering anyone for the rest of the full moon, so just relax, damnit.”

I glared at her.

“What’s in this fucking house?” I asked firmly.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Oma.” I shook my head angrily. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. I had a dream last night and…”

“Where exactly did you have that dream?” She waggled her head at me.

“On Lucas’ goddamn living room floor after we fucked!” I spat the words out like they were bullets.

Oma’s eyes grew wide as she laced her arms over her chest and stared at me from across the kitchen.

“Well…that’s…that’s something, isn’t it?”

“What does that even mean?”

“Well, Lucas…he’s not exactly promiscuous, is he?”

“How the hell would I know?”