Page 65 of The Pilot

“I’m sorry. Still mostly at lunch?” Harper asked.

Kash nodded.

“Did you try what we talked about before? Going to the lunchroom early or late?”

“Yeah. Didn’t work. He still singles me out. Calling me Trash-Kash and making fun of what I’m wearing, what I’m eating, my backpack, my friends . . . anything he can. Why are people so mean, Mom?”

Karma. This was karma doing her thing. She’d been a horrible person to Linc and others when she was an adolescent, and her son was paying the price. Harper wasn’t sure what to do or say, how to make this better for him.

“I don’t know, baby. Maybe because their home life isn’t good. Maybe he doesn’t get enough attention, or he’s learned that negative attention is better than no attention at all. Or maybe he’s doing it to fit in with his friends.” She sighed heavily, her stomach in knots. “I have a confession.”

When her son looked at her with curiosity, Harper almost changed her mind about sharing her secret with her son. Almost. “I was a bully. When I was a kid.”

“What?”

“I was awful,” she whispered, feeling the shame all over again. “Especially to Linc. I called him names and made his life miserable. I felt horrible about it. Then and now.”

“Why?”

She sighed. “I think mostly, like I said just now, because I wanted to fit in. Because my friends were all doing it . . . and it was kind of like a mob mentality thing. Once I started, I wasn’t sure how to stop. I didn’t feel as if I could speak up and tell them it wasn’t right, because then I’d lose all my friends, and they’d probably turn on me. It was stupid and selfish, and I’m not proud of myself.”

Kash was silent for a while, then he said, “But Linc forgave you, because you guys are dating.”

“Yes, thankfully.”

To her relief, Kash reached out and squeezed her arm. “I’m sorry you felt that way when you were young. I’m sorry you didn’t have real friends.”

Figured her kid would have empathy for her, even when she admitted to being a mean girl. “I love you, Kash. And I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with someone like me when I was your age.”

“You and Linc turned out all right. Gives me hope that I will too,” he said a little cheekily.

Harper chuckled. Then sobered. “Is there anything I can do to help you? Maybe we can find a private school for you to go to? Or homeschool?”

Kash scoffed. “As if you can afford private school. And I don’t want to have to wear a uniform. I like my classes and most of my teachers. And I love the robotics club. I wasn’t sure I would. I mean, astronomy is my jam, but it’s still pretty cool. Putting together robots is fun. And, I love you, Mom, but . . . homeschool? Really?”

Harper giggled. “Right. I’m not smart enough to teach you anything.”

“I didn’t mean that,” he said quickly. “But we already spend most of our time outside of school and your work together. Do we really need to spend every moment of every day together?”

Harper smiled over at her son. “I don’t mind being with you, Kash. But you’re probably right.”

“Besides, all I’d do is stare at a computer all day if I was homeschooled. My brain would rot and I’d lose all my social skills . . . not that I have all that many, but the last thing you’d want is to find me glued to my chair with cobwebs all over me one day, when you peeked into my room to make sure I was still alive.”

Harper threw her head back and laughed. Kash was funny. He hadn’t always been that way; one more thing she could credit to Linc and his family. They were constantly teasing each other and laughing, making jokes. Kash had obviously been paying attention and soaking it all in. She liked that he could make fun of himself in a lighthearted manner.

“Right, so, private school and home school are out. What do we do about this Donny situation?”

“We don’t do anything,” Kash said, wise beyond his years. “He’s in the eleventh grade. He’ll be graduating—hopefully—in a year and a half. By the time I’m in the ninth grade, he’ll be gone. I can deal with his stupid taunts at lunch for that long.”

“Does he have friends who think what he’s doing is funny?” Harper asked. She thought back to her group in high school. What one of them did, the rest went along with. They were truly a mean-girl pack. She doubted Donny was acting alone. He probably had a bunch of boys being assholes right along with him.

“Yeah. But ever since he and Ginger broke up, he hasn’t been quite as bad. He’s mad at her for ending things. He’s kind of turned on her, one day being mean and the next being sickeningly sweet, trying to get her back. If she’s smart, she’ll stay away from him. His friends kind of do whatever he tells them to, so right now they’re talking him up to her friends. I think he’s kinda trying to get her back through them.”

“You see a lot, don’t you?” Harper asked, kind of astonished at how in tune Kash was to the situation with his bullies.

“Have to. Don’t want to end up getting a swirly during lunch.”

“People don’t still do that, do they? I mean, it’s gross.”