Page 53 of The Pilot

“And the night before that?”

“The same.”

“Linc, you can’t function on that little amount of sleep. No wonder you’ve been baking so much.”

“I think I’ve proven that I can function on very little sleep,” he said dryly. “I have no choice.”

“Well, that stops now. You’re going to sleep, damn it! I mean it.”

Linc couldn’t help it. He laughed. Then he got serious again. “Does it make a difference? I mean, with us? Now that you’ve heard all the disgusting stuff I did?”

“Does it make a difference now that you know how Kash was conceived? How stupid I was?”

“No,” Linc said firmly. “It doesn’t make one damn bit of difference. I love that kid. He’s funny, smart as hell, considerate, and protective of you. He’s awesome. As are you. And you weren’t stupid. Maybe a little naïve, but that’s not the same thing.”

“And you didn’t do anything disgusting. You survived. There’s a huge difference. And I don’t think any one of the doctors, nurses, or those Delta Force and Night Stalker guys cared that you were covered in dirt and poo. I bet they were all in complete awe that you’d made it out alive, without being captured. They were probably proud of you for doing what you had to do in order to survive. Just like I am.”

A huge weight felt as if it had been lifted from Linc’s shoulders. Tonight had been a night for revelations, and for the first time, he truly felt as if he could start over with Harper. The slate had been wiped completely clean once and for all. They were two humans who’d been through the worst of the worst, and had somehow found each other.

Maybe that had been their fate all along. To know each other as kids, to experience the lowest of the low, and then come together once more, changed. Stronger together than apart.

“How about we shower away our respective experiences? I don’t know about you, but I feel dirty after talking about what those men did to me,” Harper suggested.

“And I feel disgusting after reliving what I went through,” Linc agreed.

“Yeah. I’ve been dying to check out that huge shower,” Harper said with a shy smile.

This woman. She was amazing. But as much as he wanted to shower with Harper, this didn’t feel like the right moment.

“There’s nothing I want more than to see you slicked up with soap and feel you against my naked body, but right now . . .” His voice trailed off. He wasn’t sure how to explain what he was feeling.

“It’s okay. You just unloaded a lot of stuff, and I’m being selfish. Thinking about my own needs and wants.”

“It’s not that . . . I just . . . when I see you naked for the first time, I want it to be after a good night’s sleep. Not when memories of the mountains are so fresh in my head. I want nothing to taint our first time together.”

Linc could see understanding and affection in her eyes, and it was a huge relief. He brought one of her hands up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. Then he did the same with the other hand.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” Harper told him. “I would’ve been horrified if you did something you didn’t want to.”

“Make no mistake, Harper. I want you. We’ll shower together and more. Much more. But not tonight.”

He loved the blush that tinged her cheeks pink. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Go ahead and take your time in the bathroom. I’ll shower when you’re done.”

She nodded. And after a small nod and shy smile, she turned and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Half an hour later, they were both clean and lying in bed together. Harper had her head on Linc’s shoulder and one arm flung across his chest. Her knee was hitched up and resting against his thigh. She was a comfortable weight against him, and once again, Linc felt grounded by the feel of her.

“Is this okay? I’m not hurting your shoulder?”

“It’s the other one that was hurt,” Linc told her.

“Oh. Good. Linc?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry you had to go through what you did. But I disagree about the hero part. I mean, I understand why you think the way you do, but being a hero isn’t just about grand gestures or surviving huge newsworthy disasters. I think heroes are made every day, by people doing extraordinary things when they really want nothing more than to give up. You surviving the way you did, putting one foot in front of the other, even though it hurt like hell and you didn’t think you could continue, and staying out of North Korean hands . . . that is heroic.”