Page 44 of The Pilot

Christmas and New Year’s Eve had come and gone.

Kash loved his Christmas presents, and afterward they’d all gone over to Lobster Cove to spend a few hours with Evelyn and the rest of the family. Operation Lobster was a huge hit, and Britt and Chad continued to laugh at how many lobsters they were finding all over their house, in places they never would’ve thought to look.

Chad complained that the one Linc had put inside a bottle of Italian dressing in their fridge had scared the crap out of him.

For Christmas, Linc had bought Harper the softest, fluffiest bathrobe he’d been able to find. The house was drafty, and she always seemed to be chilled, and since he didn’t feel as if he had the right yet to warm her with his own body heat, the bathrobe had been the next best thing.

For Kash, he’d splurged and bought a top-of-the-line telescope. Harper had protested when they’d had a moment alone, after opening presents, but he’d simply shrugged and told her to think of it as furthering the boy’s education.

Harper had gotten him an autographed hardback special edition book by one of his favorite authors, and Kash had presented him with a certificate claiming that a star had been named after him.

For New Year’s Eve he, Kash, and Harper had celebrated by staying up until midnight and lighting a few sparklers . . . the handheld pyrotechnics. He refused to actually set off fireworks for many reasons. Even though his house was pretty isolated, sound carried across the water, and there were many dogs that were especially sensitive to the loud boomers.

Not to mention men and women like him, who might be triggered by the sounds of the explosions.

Now, it was nearing the end of February. School had been back in session for weeks . . . and Kash was struggling. It was easy to see. Linc was relieved when the boy actually had an honest conversation with Harper about Donny and Ginger and their friend group picking on him. Being bullies. But she didn’t really have words of wisdom that would help him any more than Linc’s had.

However, knowing her son was going through the same thing she’d put Linc through had obviously begun to eat at her. When she looked at Kash, Linc could see guilt in her gaze more often than not. Being on the other side now, seeing how badly someone suffered from bullying, had to strike deep for her.

Then there was Linc.

He was being an asshole.

He knew it, but he wasn’t sure how to fix things. His sleep cycles were even worse than they’d been before the holidays. Night after night of barely any sleep, and trying to hide the fact that he was always dead on his feet—not only from his family, but from the boy and woman living with him—was taking a toll.

He’d started drinking over-the-counter cough medicine at night in an attempt to knock himself out. And while it worked, the effects didn’t last any longer than if he hadn’t taken anything at all. He still woke abruptly after an hour or two, max. The stuff also seemed to make his dreams even more vivid.

He was at the end of his rope, and he wasn’t sure what to do.

Talking to a shrink hadn’t worked, and he really didn’t want to have to start taking sleeping pills. Doing so felt like a failure.

How could he have been strong enough to walk for miles and miles through hostile territory, with an arm that was completely useless, and not be able to fucking sleep for more than two hours a night? It was pathetic, and Linc hated feeling that way.

As a result of his constantly being on edge, his relationship with Harper hadn’t progressed as well or as fast as he would have liked. They’d shared a few kisses, had begun to hold hands when they were outside the house, but that was it.

Linc’s mouth watered every time he thought about how beautiful Harper had looked at Chad’s wedding. He thought she was pretty all the time, but when she’d made an effort to dress up, she’d been stunning. And it was more than the physical trappings. Her joy over being with his family, watching her son flourish, celebrating his brother’s wedding—it made her even more exquisite in his eyes.

He wanted her.

Wanted to bury himself in her and never come up for air.

Wanted to lose himself in her arms and her touch.

But with every day that went by, and he was too chicken to make a move, he felt more and more awkward about taking their physical relationship to a higher level.

He was pitiful. Seriously. He couldn’t get control over his own mind and body when it came to sleeping, and he felt as if Harper was slipping away before they’d ever really made an effort to see if a relationship between them could work. Something had to give, and Linc was afraid it was going to be him that broke. Who ruined everything.

For a man who was used to being in complete control while flying a multimillion-dollar fighter jet, he was floundering with the lack of control he felt in his life at the moment.

With Kash back at school and Harper’s hours at work back to normal, Linc was trying to get back into the groove with his house renovations. Today, his plan was to get serious about the floors in his living room before tackling the upstairs bedrooms. He had the materials in one of the empty guest rooms, and he and Kash had finished painting toward the end of Kash’s winter break.

He’d intended to start ripping up the old floors way before now, but he’d started trying to take naps while Harper and Kash were gone, and when they returned, his time was spent with them, making dinner, watching science shows on TV, or playing some kind of board game.

His life had completely changed since they’d moved in, and Linc wasn’t upset about it. Not in the least. In some ways, he felt more alive than he had in years, even with the lack of sleep. They’d totally upended his routine, but in a good way.

He’d just started carrying the wood flooring downstairs to the living room when he heard a car pull up outside. Wondering if one of his brothers had come to see him, Linc quickly set the boxes down and went to look out the window to see who’d arrived.

He was confused to see Harper’s minivan pull into the garage next to the house. Panic hit hard and fast. Why was she home from work so early? Was she all right? Was it Kash?