Page 84 of Rescuing Mary

Truck came, of course he did. He’s freaking perfect in every way, but I’d never admit that to him. Of course, instead of bundling up Annie, taking me home, then bringing Annie back to her house and staying with her, he made me stay at her house with him. And of course I ended up puking all over the bathroom floor because I didn’t make it to the toilet in time. And it figures I was too weak to get up so I got it all over my clothes.

I hate my life.

I try to be so fucking brave and tough, but it’s hard. So hard.

And it’s even harder when the most perfect man I’ve ever known comes into the bathroom and sees me lying in my own puke and has to not only help clean me up, but has to clean up the bathroom too.

I wouldn’t wish cancer on my greatest enemy. Not even Mama.

* * *

“Holy shit,” Truck said. He didn’t remember the Army Ball or the incident Mary described, but just reading about it made him tear up. She had to have felt so helpless. It was obvious to him, just by reading her words, that he’d loved her then. If she asked for his help, of course he would’ve given it to her. He’d give her anything.

It was also obvious that her asking for help was big. Huge. Mary didn’t ask for much, even now that she wasn’t sick. He hated thinking about her being so weak she couldn’t make it to the bathroom. The only reason she’d asked for help in the first place was because she was watching Annie. If the little girl hadn’t been a factor, she probably would’ve lain on the floor of her own bathroom until she somehow magically found the strength to get up. God, he hated that.

* * *

Did I say Truck was perfect? I lied. He’s insane. Crazy. Has a screw loose. After the incident at Emily’s house, when I puked in the bathroom, Truck came over to my place and told me he had a question for me.

The daft man asked me to marry him!

All I could do was stare at him in disbelief. I’m dying. Why the hell would he want to marry me? But…the more I thought about it…the more I wanted to say yes. The man drives me crazy, but I think I love him. Heh, I know, I know, I said I’d never love another man for the rest of my life, but this is TRUCK. He doesn’t get pissed when I’m snarky, in fact he seems to find it amusing (which is annoying). He doesn’t let me push him away (again, annoying), and he tells me how pretty I am all the time (which I know is a lie, because hello…chemo hair!!).

But you know what? The second I opened my mouth to tell him yes, that I would marry him and spend the rest of my (limited) days with him, loving him, he had to go and open his mouth again.

I’d stupidly spilled the beans while I was sick at Emily’s house that my insurance wouldn’t pay for any more chemo treatments. That I did my best, but I was done. I was going to let the cancer do its thing and just be done with it once and for all. My only excuse for blabbing was that I was missing Rayne. I haven’t seen her in ages (if she saw me losing my hair again, she’d know what was going on, and I can’t risk it). I’ve only talked to her here and there on the phone. So I was lonely. And I word vomited my plan to go to the beach and die peacefully. Alone. (OK, I know it wouldn’t be peaceful, but I’m trying to fool myself so I don’t scare myself half to death.)

So there I was, about ready to accept Truck’s proposal. Happy beyond anything I’ve ever felt because this perfect, amazing man wanted to marry me. What were the odds?

Well, then he explained that if I married him, I would qualify for all his Army benefits…including his health insurance. Talk about a buzzkill. I was ready to tell him that I wanted to be Mrs. Ford Laughlin, and he had to go and tell me he was only asking to save me.

Fuck my life.

* * *

Truck closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing.

Mary loved him.

He’d been pretty sure, but there it was in black and white.

Then he wanted to kick his own ass. She would’ve said yes if he hadn’t opened his mouth and told her it was so she could be on his insurance, which he was pretty sure had only been a desperate ploy on his part to get her to say yes.

His head was pounding now. With every sentence he read, flashes of Mary sparked in his brain. She’d lived here. With him. They’d slept in the same bed every night. They’d watched TV together. He’d fixed her meals. Forced her to eat when she was so sick she didn’t want to do anything but sleep.

Mary loved him and had wanted to say yes to his proposal as a result. Yeah, things between them had definitely been “complicated,” as she’d called it.

Wanting to know what else he’d fucked up, Truck read on.

* * *

Truck won’t give it up. He calls me every day and orders me to marry him. Tells me he’s not ready to let me go. That he loves me and wants to see my smiling face every day for the rest of his life. I know he’s full of shit because I haven’t exactly been smiling lately.

Why did he have to bring health insurance into it?

I told him to fuck off.

* * *