Page 148 of Slapshot Baby

"Good." She climbs the steps. "Then I don't have to waste time being polite."

When she’s very close, she places her arms akimbo. She lifts her chin, scowling.

“My sister has been going through hell. Where have you been?”

“I…” I stop. What’s she talking about? “I’ve been here.”

“Yeah, right.” Her right index finger jabs my chest. “Ava deserves a man who shows up when and where she needs him. Not after. Not when it’s convenient. Not whenever you choose to.”

“Look…um…Lucy, I don’t know where you got the notion that…”

The jab becomes harder. “Not a man who values hockey more than her life.”

My mouth shuts. I try to rake up any memory where I valued hockey more than Ava, even if it’s from before the amnesia.

None comes to mind.

But what if that actually happened?

"When it actually counts, you’re not there. Leave her alone, Kai. You're not what she needs."

"You don't know me," I stutter.

I don’t know myself fully either. Can’t bring up any memory of Ava before the memory loss.

Lucy lifts her chin, walks to the door, then bangs it after she steps in.

I stand on Ava's porch staring at that front door.

When it actually counts, you're not there.

She said it like a fact. Not an accusation she needed me to answer. A fact she'd already weighed and confirmed.

I think about Ava. Every time she changed the subject when I pushed too close. Every time her eyes went somewhere I couldn't follow and she came back with a smile that didn't quite reach.

Something is wrong. Not just the transfusion. Something bigger that she's been carrying alone for longer than today.

And I don't know what it is.

Her sister looked at me like a man who already failed.

Maybe there’s something bad I did.

Whatever I did to earn Ava’s distrust and Lucy’s anger, I might deserve it.

25

AVA

Hiding the Puck

Laura's front door opens before I knock.

"There she is."

She steps onto the porch with both arms open, light brown hair pinned loosely. She pulls me into a hug that wraps me with warmth. I start to lean into her.

This is a client consultation. Behave accordingly.