Page 140 of Slapshot Baby

"He had stuff going on with the team."

"Stuff," she spits out in disgust. "His pregnant girlfriend is getting a needle through her stomach and he's at a hockey rink. That's what you're telling me."

"It's more complicated than that."

It really is. Even though I told Lucy and my mother that Kai and I are finally in a relationship, they don’t know I didn’t tell him about the baby.

Whimpering, Biscuit sits beside me, his head on my leg.

"What's complicated? You're in a relationship with this man. He knows about the baby. A normal human being clears his schedule and sits in that room."

My chest tightens. The correction sits on my tongue. He doesn't know, Lucy. I never told him.

"Maybe he couldn't get away."

"Couldn't get away?" Her voice rises. "From what? Skating? Hitting a puck? His girlfriend needed a needle put through her belly to keep his baby alive and he couldn't get away from a sport?"

"You don't understand the situation."

"Then help me understand. Because from where I'm standing, this looks like Dennis all over again. A man who shows up when it's easy and disappears when it's hard."

The name hits me like a slap.

"Don't compare Kai to Dad."

"Why not? Dad was charming too. Dad showed up with gifts and grand gestures and made promises that felt like bedrock until the first crack appeared. Then he was gone. How's that any different from a man who buys you a studio but can't be bothered to show up for a medical emergency?"

My hand shakes against the phone. Heat rushes into my face and behind my eyes.

"Because Kai is nothing like Dad, Lucy." My voice sounds broken. "He shows up every single time. He drove across the city at two in the morning to bring me mango because I couldn't sleep."

"Then where is he, Ava? Right now. This second."

I pause, silent.

Where is Kai right now? He’s probably at his apartment thinking about a captaincy some man in a suit is holding hostage, not knowing that the mother of his child is on the floor with a bandage on her belly.

The worst part is I chose this.

"He's doing the best he can," I whisper.

"His best isn't enough.” The anger in Lucy's voice fractures. Beneath it, fear crawls through. “Not for you or for that baby."

"Stop."

"Not until you hear me."

"I hear you." Tears are dripping off my jaw and onto Biscuit's fur. "Believe me, I hear you."

"Ava, are you really okay? Do you need me?"

"The baby is fine. The procedure went well."

"I didn't ask about the baby, Ava."

My back is against the wall by the front door, legs stretched across cold hardwood, the bandage on my belly pulling when I breathe.

"I'm so tired of doing all of this by myself, Lu." The words come out small.