Page 26 of Bound

“Mark me.” His fingers flexed in mine, showing me his meaning.

My eyes caught on the constellation of scars that tracked up his wrist where he’d been fed on by undeads, the sight of which never failed to suck the breath from my lungs and make me want to hunt down every vampire in North America for having savaged him that way. Something ugly twisted deep in my gut.

“I want you to,” he whispered roughly in my ear. “I want your mark there. My choice, this time. Only you.”

This was wrong. And I’d known it from the start. But by then it was too late, my magic a dark maelstrom surging in my blood. I cursed as a second climax tore through me in a blinding rush, and with a growl, sank my teeth into Topher’s wrist.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of a dry wind stirring leaves down on the street. Through slatted blinds, pale blue hints of dawn glowed at the edge of the horizon, the last stars fading in a vast midnight sky. Topher’s wrist was tucked beneath my pillow, the smell of leather and soap tickling my nostrils every time I inhaled. My claiming mark pulsed in time with his heartbeat, a faint raised crescent among the wild scrawling whorls of ink that spanned his skin. Unable to quash the sudden possessive urge, I traced a single finger over the outline left by my teeth, drowning in a heady rush of relief as the bond opened. Followed instantly by guilt.

I slid from the bed, silently hunting for my clothes. Topher stirred but didn’t wake. I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent one last time, wanting to commit to memory what it had been like to wake throughout the night in the circle of his arms and roll over, only to have all the questions I didn’t dare voice silenced by a kiss.

I slipped on my t-shirt and jeans, wanting to slide back into bed for another hour of hungry kisses and promises whispered against flushed skin in the safety of the dark, as if both of us knew by speaking them aloud in the light of day, they might flit away. Wanting him to beg me to stay. But we’d agreed what happened here would stay here. No weirdness. No regrets.

Across the darkened room, Topher stirred and I felt something inside me breaking, remembering the way I’d kissed his strong Roman nose as he fell asleep, the way the dark whorls of his hair had tickled my forehead as we lay impossibly close, sweaty and sated, sharing a single pillow, my heart pounding so hard I thought I might burst from my own skin. This was the first thing in this entire cluster of a year that had felt good, and the one thing I would have to walk away from in order to do the right thing by him. I wanted all of it, wanted him. Wanted mornings where we’d wake up spooned together, fingers and limbs entwined, his hands mapping my skin like I was a book he wanted to read until he knew the words by heart, discovering new secrets on every page.

“Hey,” he said sleepily. “What time is it?”

“Almost four. I should go. I need to be at work in a few hours.”

“You could stay.”

I dug my fingernails into my palms until it hurt. “I… don’t think that’s such a good idea. Tonight was amazing. But…”

“I get it.”

Making my way to the door, I worried the edge of my lip where I could still taste his kiss. “You get why this can’t happen, right? I’m an Omega, not to mention your sire. We can’t know that this,” I gestured between us, “is real and not—”

“Your witchy powers of persuasion?” He let his head fall back, traces of moonlight peeking in through the blinds to reflect off his angular features. “No offense, but are you like this with every guy you hook up with?”

“This isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s insulting.” When my mouth fell open, he nailed me with a hard stare. “We’re bonded. Our wolves can’t be unlinked. That’s different than you trying to force yourself on me. You think I’m so weak willed that I can’t tell the difference?”

“No, but—”

“I want you. You clearly want me. Why does it need to be more complicated than that?”

“With me everything is complicated by what I can do. And as much as I may care for someone, I can never escape the fact that my powers mean they may not be able to refuse me. That’s not something I can live with.”

“That’s how you feel, huh.”

It wasn’t a statement. Not quite a question either. My pulse pounded so hard it hurt. Topher’s eyes flicked to mine. Why did it feel like I was drowning every time he looked at me that way? Like my heart was being ripped out of my chest even though I was only doing this to protect him. We couldn’t be together. Couldn’t.

“I believe you think that you want to be with me,” I began carefully. “But if you’re being influenced by the bond, one you never agreed to, you can’t give consent. Not really.”

Topher got up, started searching the floor for his clothes. “Honest to god, do you ever listen to yourself?”

I gritted my teeth. “I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

“Then listen up, because the last thing I need right now is to have my own feelings explained back to me. You’re not into this and that’s fine. But don’t be so arrogant as to think you control how I feel. About you or anything else.”

“I do want you,” I said quietly, watching him drag on his shirt, thinking of all the places my lips had been just hours before. How horribly wrong this had all gone. “And that’s the problem. I can’t be with anyone that way. Not ever. And especially not you.”

Something hardened in his expression. “Like I said, we agreed going into this. No regrets. I’ll see you around, Caldwell.”

We stared at each other, his pulse still thrumming where he’d bitten the crease of my hip. Want surged in my blood, immediately followed by a soul-crushing hollowness. I thought of my wolf’s uncontrolled shifts. The attacks where I could barely contain my Omega magic. I was a danger to everyone around me, no one more so than Topher, who I’d bound to me the night I’d slipped and lost control. I couldn’t be in a relationship, with him or anyone else.