Page 62 of Dark

“Yeah. Long story short, Dallas never did figure out if he grazed her with his teeth while they were fooling around or the condom broke. It was almost a week before the full moon, which meant either way, he should have been safe. The transmission window is pretty much a day to a day and a half on either side, tops. But by the time Ben found them, Lacey’s fever was already spiking.

“Dallas got sent away to live with our uncle in Canada, and Lacey had to hide out at the ranch for over a year until she could control her wolf. She’s never been able to tell her family what really happened.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah.” I stared at her sandwich long enough that she smirked and held it up so I could bite off one of the corners. Chewing, I rubbed my bottom lip. “Things have never been the same between them. When Dally came back, he was different. Older, more jaded. It had been four years. Lacey had moved on with her life. Now they pretty much pretend it never happened.”

Hayden warmed her fingers on the side of her mug, staring down at her arm as if she was remembering the message that had been scrawled across her skin. HOSPITALS NOT SAFE. “What happened with Dallas and Ben… was that why you stopped the night we started fooling around?"

“Part of it. But mostly… for Ben, there are no compromises. He isn’t just my father, Hays. Back then he was also Alpha. If he were to discipline me, send me to a different pack—"

“He wouldn’t.”

“He did it to Dallas.”

“So you’re saying—"

I watched her expression darken as the pieces fell into place. I’d been an idiot to think I’d fooled any of them. Town events where I pretended to stare everywhere but at her. That time I watched, heart kicking in my chest, as she twirled with her sister out under the twinkling lights at the Yule Festival. That open mic night where Ben had shown up and I hadn’t even noticed, the dark rasp of Hayden’s voice, the sharp mint scent of her hair and heat of her skin stirring my wolf until I could scarcely breathe. After, the way Ben had stared me down across the darkened parking lot, neither of us missing the way I’d sweated through my shirt in an effort to keep the monster contained.

“He told you to stay away from me,” she said, voice flat.

“Ben could see there was something between us, even back then, something that would grow to be dangerous. And knew that if he told me to back off, there was no chance I would go against his orders. Not when he ultimately controlled my access to August.”

Hayden went very still, breathing so low it was barely audible in the empty room. “You’re his son.”

I looked down. “You get what it’s like because of Ellie. When it’s just the two of you against the world. I couldn’t let my brother get separated from me again, not when he was that sick, no matter how much I wanted you.”

Hayden stared down at the remnants of the chocolate heart, all but dissolved in the foam. “Was it because of me? Because my father was an addict?”

“Everything Ben did was to prevent you from turning into another Lacey Blair. I was the one he didn’t trust. Not after Dallas. Not after my outbursts as a kid. He wasn’t about to have another of his sons responsible for changing a human against their will. Not on his watch.”

“No.” Setting the mug down hard, Hayden rose. “Whatever Ben set out to do, he’s convinced you you’re a monster. And he couldn’t be more wrong. Just once, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You’re talented as hell. Patient with all the little kids who hold up the line describing which Pokémon they want you to pour. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you buying tacos for the guys who sleep out in the park every morning when you go over to Guillermo’s to get ours.”

“Stalker.”

Leaning into my space, she removed my glasses, smoothing her thumbs over my eyebrows. I closed my eyes, drinking in her touch.

“You’re so private that sometimes I want to scream,” she continued, softer now. “Because more than anything since the day we met, I’ve wanted to be let in, wanted to be the one person you trust with your secrets. But whether that takes a day, or a month or a year, I’ll wait. You’re worth it.”

And suddenly we were kissing, Hayden’s fingers twined in my hair, her breath hot on my tongue, and for one breathless, tangled moment, everything was so, so right.

If you would have asked me right then to name three things of which I was absolutely sure, it would have come down to this:

1) Love was daisies and bowls of Cocoa Puffs. Burned grilled cheese sandwiches and whipped cream on a nose with precisely seven freckles. Pizza and tiramisu eaten in bed on lazy nights watching zombies take over your laptop while a girl’s cold toes found refuge against your leg. Stolen French fries that claimed you as hers.

2) I wasn’t sure I would ever truly deserve her. Maybe I never would be.

3) Maybe that didn't matter. Maybe fate was a series of chances. Maybe it was a lost boy and a stubborn girl circling in a field of daisies until one day they collided. Or maybe in the end, some things just came down to choice. And I was choosing us.

11

Hayden

I HAVEN’T ALWAYS BEEN the best sister. Maybe that was something all siblings said, universal as fights over stolen nail polish, curly versus straight hair, and which of you could definitively claim ownership of the one Justin Bieber shirt you both got for Christmas.

Sidebar: Thanks, Aunt Piper.

There was the epic battle over who stuck their pinky finger across the demilitarized zone extending down the middle of the backseat, which, seriously, had been going on since horses and buggies were a thing. Car makers should have just painted a freaking racing stripe down the center console and ended the debate forever. Bad. Ass.