Page 78 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Johnson Marshall,” Debbie replied. “Son of Norbert Cobbledick.”

“The wizard?”

“Yes. He vanished searching—”

“His last name is Cobbledick?”

“Oh my God.” Debbie groaned. “He vanished searching for his father, but—”

“Wait, why don’t they have the same last name?”

“I don’t know!” Debbie screeched. “Can I please finish?”

“Fine.”

“So, yes, Johnson disappeared trying to find Norbert, but we believe he’s returned here to the Terrestrial plane. It’s why we wanted the Artifact from you. To make contact with him.”

Indy paused. “But why…?”

“To help us defeat the Mostros! And the Ides. Even if he’s only half as powerful as his father was, we could end this whole mess in a matter of days! It could finally be over. It could all be over once and for all. Not only is he a great wizard, but it is said he can unlock the full potential of the Artifacts!”

“Yeah, well, sorry about that. Pretty attached to it. Literally.” Indy looked down at Dill’s foliage still hugging him. “And it’s kinda attached to me. Also literally.”

Debbie laughed, though his smile remained dreary. “I see that. It doesn’t matter much now. I suppose you two plan to make a cunning escape, hmm?”

“That was the idea. More or less. Definitely not planning on staying here to kiki with the Ides or anyone else.” Indy tested Dill’s grip and found it remained solid. “Not much for being a damsel in distress and sure as hell not counting on Mr. Heiss to come to the rescue.”

“Good luck.” Debbie curled into a ball on the floor with a short huff.

“What? Not gonna bust out with us?”

“Everyone I care about is dead,” Debbie said softly. “I’m tired. I…” He curled in tighter. “I told you what I know, and I don’t have anything else left to give.”

“Okay. You do you. Thanks for the info dump story time, I’ll leave you a great Google review, bye bye.” Indy wiggled. “Dill, are you done yet? Yes? No?”

“No,” Dill simply replied.

“Wait, you’re not going to try and convince me to come with you?” Debbie demanded. “Tell me that my life is worth living? Any of that?”

“Look here, Debbie. I’ve not been having a fun time lately. I’m sorry about your monster people and your great mission going to shit, I really am, but I have my own problems. If you want to stay here and die, that’s a you problem. So, sorry. Or whatever.” Indy sighed in relief as Dill’s foliage finally retreated and he could now stand on his own two feet. He stretched his arm and realized that Dill’s giant hug had healed him.

He felt good.

Like, wow, really good.

Dill materialized beside him with a smile that was downright smug.

“Thank you, Dill,” Indy cooed, reaching up to give his chin a scratch. “I will never doubt your magical hugs ever again. Now, are we ready to escape and go home and drink lots and lots of booze?”

“Grow?” Dill perked up.

“Yup. Grow all you want. I want to get the fuck out of here.”

Dill grunted happily and lumbered up to the bars. His already massive body increased in size until his antlers scraped the ceiling, and he grabbed a bar in each hand. He pulled, and they snapped like popsicle sticks. He kept grunting and breaking the bars two at a time, clearly intent on destroying all of them.

Indy started to point out that they only needed a few out of the way, but Dill seemed to be having fun, so he let it continue.

“You realize we’re in another dimension, right?” Debbie drawled. “Do you have any idea how to break the wards protecting this world and open a portal back to the Terrestrial plane?”