Page 3 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Know what, asshat?”

“About the monsters.”

Indy froze.

He stopped struggling to get a better look at the man and figure out what he was dealing with. He checked his left thumb nail as it had a special enchantment that would glow specific colors depending on who or what was in his immediate vicinity. His current manicure featured cute acrylic bubbles shaped like bunnies and flowers, and the bunny on his thumb indicated the man was human by showing a faint purple glow with a hint of yellow, but it could have easily been a disguise.

The man was white, with papery thin skin, and old.

Not, like, in a nursing home old.

Sixties? Late fifties? Maybe?

Indy had never been the best at ages, but this man had some kind of magic, given the tingle. It was weak, so the guy was still probably human, but Indy knew that wizards and witches and other magically inclined folk could still be dangerous.

“Listen to me,” the man said urgently. “My name is Clancy, and I need to—”

“You need to let go of me before I call my master,” Indy warned. “Ten, nine, eight—”

“Please!” Clancy’s eyes were wild. “There isn’t much time!”

“You’re right because you’re about seven seconds from being a fried piece of bacon—”

“Take this!” Clancy shoved something on Indy’s left ring finger.

“Whoa, whoa!” Indy tried to jerk away. “Hold on—”

It was a ring, silver in color, with some sort of glass bauble full of skinny white flecks.

“Take it. It’s yours now.” Clancy smiled in relief. “You’ll know what to do.”

Indy immediately pulled it off.

Well…

At least he would have, but it was stuck. He pulled, popped his finger in his mouth, licked all over it, and tried yanking on it with all his strength.

Nope. Absolutely stuck.

Clancy took a step back as if he was going to leave. “Take care of it. Or really, heh, I guess I should say they’re going to take care of you.”

“Oh no! No, no, no!” Indy seethed. “You don’t stick me with some cursed-ass ring, say a bunch of vague bullshit, and then—”

Clancy vanished.

“Motherfucker!” Indy roared, stomping his foot furiously. He dug his teeth into the sides of his finger, attempting to catch the ring and force it off.

Still nothing.

Great.

Wonderful.

“Yay, some stupid wizard probably put a cursed-ass fucking ring on me. Super dee fuckin’ duper.” Indy groaned. “This day absolutely sucks balls.”

He saw the empty coffee cup on the ground.

“And I have no more fucking coffee. Motherfucker!”