Page 164 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Shush. I don’t make the rules. It’s hot bitch math.”

“Very well.”

“So. Hey. Spill.” Indy poked Mr. Heiss’s chest. “What’s the deal?”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” Mr. Heiss rolled his eyes. “I knew him before I came to Somerstown. He was a young demon, as annoying as he is now, and he wanted to go into business together. The plan was sound, and I agreed. I had no interest beyond a working relationship, but he was very determined to befriend me. He showed up often, rarely with permission. At my office, at my clubs, at my restaurants. Like a stupid little puppy you desperately want to kick.”

“No one wants to kick a puppy except you.”

“Demon,” Mr. Heiss quipped. “Perhaps I was lonely, but… I let him talk. It was nice to have someone around, even if they were utterly useless and stupid. And one night, after a few too many drinks, I was feeling particularly weak and decided to talk too. I told him… about being in the Light. Being a hellborn, he had no idea what it was like.”

“Your name,” Indy realized. “You told him your name.”

“Yes… And I have regretted it ever since.” Mr. Heiss sighed heavily. “Afer that little exchange, Nyp thought that meant we were bosom buddies and tried to further invade my life. He came to my home unannounced, and I was… irritated with him.”

“Define irritated.”

“I tried to kill him, severed all our business connections, crushed his car, and set his house on fire.”

“Jesus Christ!” Indy barked out a startled laugh.

“Perhaps I was a bit more than irritated.” Mr. Heiss shrugged. “He still tried to call me after all that. Over and over, he kept fucking calling me, swearing that he could be better, that he would fix this. After a few years, I finally stopped hearing from him. That is, of course, until he showed up in Somerstown.”

“Wow. Sounds like he had it bad for you.” Indy snorted. “Too bad though. He needs to go get his own asshole demon. This one is mine.” He kissed Mr. Heiss firmly.

“I am, hmm?” Mr. Heiss smiled.

“Yup. No one better be calling you and blowing you up like that except me.”

“A little possessive, are we?”

“Just saying I will probably be looking at your phone.”

Mr. Heiss laughed. “As you wish. I don’t think you’ll find it very fascinating.”

“Don’t care. Gimme.”

“May I look at yours?

“If you want. Mostly dick pics, my own dick pics, and all the apps I doomscroll on.” Indy grinned, but then he made a face as a memory popped up. “Although, ew, I did kinda have a stalker for a little while. He sent me some pretty crazy stuff. I kept some of it just in case he ever showed back up—”

“Human or monster?” Mr. Heiss’s demeanor immediately shifted.

“Human. Don’t worry.” Indy shook his head. “Gammy put a curse on him when he tried to break into our apartment, but yeah, I kept all his crazy shit in case I had to go to the police or anything. He would text and call and call some more and that one time he showed up? Holy shit, he would not stop knocking and—”

Knock, knock, knock.

“What’s his name?” Mr. Heiss asked casually. “For no reason at all.”

Wait, the knocks…

What was it King had said?

Knock, knock, knock.