Page 151 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Dammit, King!” Indy made strangling motions with his hands. “Oh, if you had a fucking neck—”

“But I don’t.” King blinked. “And you are. Dyin’, I mean.”

Indy groaned. “Wanna say it louder, asshole?”

King took a deep breath and shouted, “Indy is—”

“Shut up!” Indy tried to clamp his hand over King’s mouth. “Ow, what the fuck? Did you just bite me?”

“Did you just try to shush me? Me? Whose very purpose is to speak?”

“You are such a dick.”

“I’ll bite yer arse next!”

Indy resisted the urge to throw King across the room. “It’s a secret. A secret, remember? Can you keep a fucking secret?”

“Possibly maybe, probably not? I never really tried before. Sort of defeats the purpose of bein’ a talkin’ skull if I can’t fuckin’ talk.”

“What do you want, eh?” Gammy eyeballed him. “What would buy your silence? A new crown? A toothbrush?”

King’s glowing orbs darted between them both. “You’d… give me something? To make me stop talking?”

“Only about one specific thing.”

“The dying.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. Is this legal?”

“Probably not,” Indy replied. “We would be bribing you.”

“I want… a cushion.” King’s eyes lit up.

Indy stared. “You mean, like, a pillow?

“Yeah! Not the crappy hard ones from the sofa neither. A nice one full of eiderdown that’s quality, and light, and soft.”

“You can… you can feel that?”

“My brain says I can.”

“Could you feel how cold it was in the freezer?”

“Are we makin’ this fuckin’ deal or not?”

“Okay, yes.” Indy clapped his hands together. “If we get you a nice cushion, will you shut up about my dying?”

King scoffed. “Cushion first.”

“Oh my God.” Indy stalked off to the bedroom.

He had no idea what eiderdown was, but he figured a big fluffy pillow would suffice. He snatched one from the bed and then came marching back. He didn’t see any sign of Mr. Heiss and figured his business had taken him outside of the house. Indy made room on the counter to set the pillow down, picked King up, and then dropped him right in the middle.

“There!” Indy declared. “Happy?”

“Oh…” King’s eyes flickered and his skeletal grin somehow grew bigger. He sighed with deep satisfaction, purring, “Yes.”