Page 123 of Demons Dig Donuts

Okay, whatever.

Seymour and Neil likely thought Indy was crazy for defending Mr. Heiss, and Indy knew very well his demonic would-be beau was no saint. And yet, there were moments like this one, small and quiet but heavy in their weight, where he was certain there was more to the king of assholes who everyone seemed to loathe.

Maybe.

Or he was blinded by good dick.

Like, really good dick.

While Neil and Izba went back and forth about the order, Indy looked around until his attention was drawn to the floor where the sunlight was coming through from the windows behind them. There were rainbows everywhere, no doubt created by some sort of wind chime crystal thingie or…

Rainbows.

Indy tensed.

Hadn’t King said something about rainbows?

Fuck, fuck, fuckity flyin’ fuck, what was it?

“Indy?” Mr. Heiss questioned. “You’re never this quiet.”

“Rainbows,” Indy said dumbly. “King said something about rainbows around five o’clock. I think. Shit. Wait! Wait, wait, wait. What time is it?”

“It’s not yet five and—”

An explosion outside rattled the entire flower shop, and one of the windows shattered inward. Mr. Heiss wrapped Indy up protectively, his wings out like a shield to block the flying glass. Seymour hit the floor, calling for Day. Neil managed to catch himself on the counter, eyes wide as he held on tight. Indy struggled to escape Mr. Heiss’s grasp so he could see what the hell was going on.

The limo was in pieces, flaming chunks of metal scattered up and down the sidewalk, the road, and on top of other cars. Someone was standing only a few feet away, filming the wreckage on their phone, and there were sirens wailing off in the distance. More people gathered, gasping and pointing and recording.

One person, however, was walking away from the limo and right to the front door of the flower shop.

He hadn’t even bothered with a human disguise.

It was Mr. Mitternacht.

CHAPTER

SIXTEEN

“Of all the fucking times for King to actually be right!” Indy wailed. “Fuck!”

“Who the hell is that?” Seymour demanded.

“Mr. Mitternacht. Asshole demon. Like, an actual asshole demon who keeps trying to fucking kill me—”

“What the fuck? I’ve gotta call Sariel right now.” Seymour scrambled for his phone while Day meowed frantically. “And Lou. Fuck, do I have Zol’s number? I think I do. Shit. Do I want to call him—”

“Do not call him!” Mr. Heiss growled furiously.

“Maybe call him!” Indy argued. “Because that guy is a serious fucking bastard!”

“Hey, hey, everybody calm down!” Neil raised his hands. “Will you please listen to me for a second?”

“Did you miss the part where there’s a bastard ass demon out there?” Indy snapped back.

Neil scoffed. “And did you miss the part where we’re all inside a giant magical house who literally helped kill a unicorn?”

IT IS TRUE