Page 166 of Raspados & Regret

I close my eyes; I have survived twelve months of this.

Twelve long months.

The internet discovered us, named us, edited us to songs, argued in the comments about whether our first kiss happened behind the trailer or after the viral hickey weekend, and once made a slideshow titled “Top Ten Times Crop Top Papi Was Down Bad And Fooling No One.”

Slide seven was just a screenshot of me looking at Elías’s mouth.

Rude, but completely accurate.

Still rude.

Elías glances at me. “You gonna say hi to your fans?”

“No.”

The girls scream, and I sigh and grab a cup. “Order?”

One of them laughs. “Are you guys still together?”

Elías’s hand stills on the scoop. Not because he doesn’t know the answer. I look at him first. His smile is still there, but softer now. Waiting. Not because he doubts me. Not anymore.

I turn back to the girl.

“Yes,” I say. “Still together.”

Clear, bored, even.

Then I reach for the tablet. “Still together. Still busy. Cash or card?”

Elías makes a sound like he is trying not to laugh, and the girls lose their minds anyway. Phones lift, and somewhere behind me, Junior says, “I can’t believe it; he’s so brave.”

I point without looking. “I will break your ankle, cabrón.”

“Ah, come on⁠—”

“Don’t fuck with me, Junior.”

“Violence. During Pride-adjacent business hours. That’s not very bisexual of you, primo.”

“It’s July.” I turn and stare. “And this bisexual will fuck you up if you keep running your mouth back there.”

“Every month is Pride if you believe.”

Elías’s mother snaps her towel at Junior. “Julian, move the cups.”

Junior points at his ankle—his perfectly healed ankle. “I can’t… medical history.”

Our tía walks by carrying a tray of elotes and says, “Medical laziness is more like it.”

I laugh before I can stop myself, and Elías looks over at me. There’s the look, the one that says he likes me laughing. The one that still makes my ribs feel too small for everything inside them.

A year ago, that look would have made me defensive.

Now, I let him see me seeing it.

His smile changes.

Private.