Page 141 of Raspados & Regret

His smile turns softer, but it’s still smug.

He tucks me back into my pants with shocking tenderness for a man who just assassinated me orally. Then he stands and I grab him immediately and he lets me pull him in. Our mouths hover over each other, and for one second, I think about what just happened. About his mouth. About mine. About the fact that I said yes outside and came undone inside and still have to walk back out there where people can see my face.

My panic starts reaching for me. Elías sees it, and his hand slides to my chest, right over my heart.

“Hey.”

I breathe.

“Don’t disappear.”

I close my eyes and let a calm wash over me.

I can do this.

“I’m here,” I say.

He studies me and then nods. “So you really meant it?”

“Yes.”

“Out there?”

“Yes.”

“You said yes because you meant it, not because you were jealous?”

I open my eyes and think to myself that both are true. Yes, one is safer, but the other is honest.

“I was jealous,” I say. “But I meant it.”

His lips part, and I keep going. “I don’t know what together means yet. I don’t know how to be this version of myself where everyone can see.”

His throat works.

“But I know I don’t want anyone else trying to take you away from me. So if that means being out, then I’ll figure it out as I go.”

He looks away, then back, and his eyes are shiny.

Fuck.

“Okay,” he whispers.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” He wipes at my mouth with his thumb, even though I am not the one with spit everywhere. “Okay.”

I catch his wrist and press a kiss to his palm. His breath catches as if he didn’t expect that kind of tenderness.

That makes me feel better—a little.

Then he steps back and looks me over with evil satisfaction. “You look wrecked.”

“I am.”

“You should fix your face.”

“Not sure it’ll help.”