Page 8 of Big D!ck Energy

I stared at the screen, my thumb hovering over the keyboard. I could lie. I could tell her it was fine, that we had a nice time, that I'd probably see him again.

But this was Brooke. And Brooke would know.

Davina: Got stood up.

Davina: Then ran into your husband's best friend at the restaurant.

Davina: So basically, the worst night of my life.

Three dots appeared immediately.

Brooke: WHAT?

Brooke: I'M CALLING YOU

My phone rang before I could prepare myself, and I answered with a groan.

“Tell me everything,” Brooke demanded. “And start with Dallas. What did that idiot do now?”

I settled deeper into my couch, Ricky readjusting himself across my stomach, and prepared to relive every excruciating moment.

At least I had my best friend. And my dog. And approximately forty-seven breadsticks' worth of feelings to process.

It was going to be a long night.

CHAPTER 3

ON AIR AND OFF GUARD

DAVINA

“And we're back with Big Girl Panties, the podcast where we put on our big girl panties and face the dating world, even when it makes us want to burn said panties and become a nun.” I leaned into my microphone, catching Brooke's eye across the studio table. “I'm Davina Lawson, and with me, as always, is my co-host and best friend, Brooke, soon to be Brooke Strickland.”

“Hey, everyone!” Brooke waved at the camera. “And today we have a very special guest joining us, someone whose content has had me laughing, crying, and screenshotting her posts to send to Davina at three in the morning.”

“It's true,” I confirmed. “I've received no fewer than a hundred and fifty TikToks from this woman in the past month alone.”

“Joining us today is Kelsie Elizabeth, curvy influencer extraordinaire and the queen of calling out dating app red flags.” I gestured toward our guest, who was set up on a chair across from us with her own microphone, looking great in a rust-colored wrap dress.

Kelsie grinned, her signature red lipstick perfectly applied. “Thanks for having me, and honestly, a hundred and fifty TikToks in a month is restrained for me. I respect your boundaries, Brooke.”

“She's lying,” Brooke stage-whispered into her mic. “I send her way more than that.”

“Before we dive in,” I said, pulling up my tablet, “we got an email this week that I think perfectly sets the stage for today's episode. This one's from Ashley in Ashford.” I cleared my throat. “Dear Big Girl Panties team, I've been listening to your podcast for about six months now, and I have to say, I initially thought the show wouldn't apply to me. Boy, was I wrong.”

Kelsie nodded. “I love where this is going already.”

“She continues: The dating world is brutal for everyone. I'm a size six, and I've been ghosted, stood up, negged, and told I was too intimidating more times than I can count. My best friend, who is a size twenty, and I compare notes, and honestly? The audacity of men is a universal experience. Thank you for creating a space where we can all commiserate together. Also, please tell Brooke that Matt is the exception, not the rule, and the rest of us are suffering out here.'“

Brooke’s smile widened. “Thanks, Ashley. I know how lucky I am.”

“The bar is literally on the floor,” Kelsie added, “and men are still bringing shovels.”

I snorted. “Speaking of which, let me tell you about my most recent dating adventure.” I leaned back in my chair. “So, last Saturday, I got stood up. Again.”

“No!” Kelsie said.

“By a guy named Landon,” Brooke added. “Landon from Lovable.”