Page 27 of Big D!ck Energy

Davina paused mid-chew. “Don't what?”

“Get the marriage annulled.”

She huffed out a laugh that was both musical and dismissive. “Hilarious. The brain cells you killed last night must have been the important ones. The load-bearing ones.”

“No, I'm serious.” I leaned forward, elbows on the table. “This could be the answer to...” I paused, searching for the right words. “To what we were discussing last night at the bar before the tequila.”

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows knitted together. “Are you talking about my Big Dick Energy?”

“Yes, and my playboy issue.”

“You're kidding, right?” Davina's voice climbed at least an octave.

“I've given this at least fifteen minutes of serious thought.”

“Oh, well, if you've spent FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES...” She rolled her eyes so hard I was concerned they might get stuck. “We don't even like each other. There's no way a fake marriage would work.”

I shrugged, grinning despite the hangover hammering behind my eyes. “Do we really not like each other, though? We called a truce for one night and ended up married. That has to count for something. Plus, think of the story we'll have to tell at parties.”

“Yes, it counts as evidence that we shouldn’t be allowed near an open bar.” She leaned forward, her brown eyes boring into mine with laser-like precision. “Dallas, I need you to have a come-to-Jesus meeting right now. Preferably with the part of your brain responsible for impulse control.”

I laughed. “Just hear me out. What's the worst that could happen?”

She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms and sank back in her seat, but I noticed the slight quirk of her lips. “Fine. I'm listening, but only because I'm curious what kind of mental gymnastics you're performing to make this sound reasonable.”

“For the past few years I've had this playboy reputation...”

“Dallas...” she interrupted, gesturing with her fork. “You are a playboy. You've dated half the single women in Florida.”

I shook my head. “No, I'm really not. I prefer relationships. I just don't believe in marriage.”

“Which is why we should get divorced as soon as possible. Preferably before the waffles get cold.”

“We will,” I added quickly. “Just not today. What could it hurt? We're already married.” I held my hand up and showed her the ring to remind her. “It would get the media off my back and kill the rumor mill that I only date women until they turn twenty-three because you're...” My face twisted as I realized I had no idea how old she was. “You are over twenty-three, right?”

She snorted. “I'm flattered, but I'm twenty-eight.”

“See. You're closer to my age. Practically geriatric by my alleged dating standards.”

“And how would this help me?” Davina asked, pointing her coffee mug at me.

“Well, first, men want what they can't have. So being seen with me will automatically get you attention.”

Her lip curled. “You're so arrogant, I'm surprised your head fits through doorways.”

“I know. Also part of my charm.” I flashed her a grin that usually melted hearts. It bounced off her skeptical expression. “Anyway, I could also help you tone down your big dick energy.”

“So you want to teach me how to change myself?”

“No. I will help you navigate the first couple of dates so they get to know the real you and aren't scared away before they do.”

She narrowed her eyes, and I could practically see the cost-benefit analysis happening behind them. “And how exactly do you see this working? Are we supposed to tell our friends? When would we get divorced? What's our exit strategy?”

“We don't tell our friends anything. We take off our wedding rings for now…” My gaze dropped to her hand, realizing she’d already removed hers. A weird feeling twisted in my chest… Disappointment, maybe? “...and act completely normal. Tonight we have the bachelor and bachelorette parties, and then the next day is the wedding. After that, Kali and James leave for Greece, Brooke and Matt leave for Italy, and we'll head back to Florida as a married couple.” I shifted in my seat, knowing the next part was the kicker. “Once we are home, we'll figure everything out after you move into my house.”

Her head snapped back. “Why would I move in with you?”

“Because we're married, Davidson. It would look suspicious to live separately.”