Page 20 of Big Girl Panties

"For bleeding on me? It's not the worst thing that's happened to me today."

"For ghosting you." The words tumbled out.

"But that was the worst thing that happened to me today." His playful grin said he was teasing me.

"That was yesterday."

"True."

"Instead, I hid in my apartment eating ice cream and watching reruns of The Office because I let my insecurities get to me."

His hands stilled. "The Office is a solid choice."

"Matt, I'm serious. I'm a disaster. My café looks like a crime scene, my love life is a cautionary tale, and I just bled on my kitchen equipment."

"Your love life is a cautionary tale?"

I shrugged.

Our eyes met and held for a long moment. The playful glint in his eyes faded, replaced by an intensity that said this conversation just got real. "Tell me why you really didn't show up last night?"

Chewing on my bottom lip, I tried to decide whether I should really tell him the truth or make up a story. I felt the familiar urge to deflect with humor, to hide behind sarcasm. But something about Matt made me want to be real, vulnerabilities and all.

I swallowed hard. "With my ex, I missed all the signs. Or maybe I just ignored them. I don't even know anymore." My bottom lip trembled slightly as I ran my fingertips over the stainless steel table, remembering countless mornings spent here with him, his criticisms disguised as helpful advice. How had I not seen it then? "I missed that he was never really attracted to me. I completely overlooked his passive-aggressive behavior. I missed that he was using me to secure a spot at my father's law firm and then kept it going to move up the ladder." I blinked rapidly, turning away as my vision blurred. "That's why he's so angry now; he let it all slip too soon." My gaze met his. "I don't trust my judgment anymore."

"None of that is your fault, Brooke." Settling between my legs, he reached out, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen loose out of my face and sliding it behind my ear.

"I don't think you understand. It was my fault." I swallowed hard. "I should have seen all the signs. I see them now, looking back."

He sighed. "My wife was cheating on me for the last two years of our marriage. I ignored all the signs because I trusted her. We'd been together since high school. I blamed myself for a long time for ignoring all the signs, and I was so mad at myself for looking like a fool, but the truth is love is blind, and in the moment, it's easy to miss those signs."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed…"

Matt stepped closer, his expression turning serious. "For what it's worth, I think your ex was an idiot."

"Because he used me?"

"Because he let you go." His voice was quiet, sincere. "And because apparently he was too stupid to realize what he had."

My heart did a little flip. "You don't even know me."

"I know you make the best coffee in the city. I know you're funny even when you're bleeding. I know you're strong enough to rebuild this place." He gestured around the destroyed café. "And I know you look great in flour-covered aprons."

"I look like a disaster in flour-covered aprons."

"A beautiful disaster."

I rolled my eyes, but I was fighting a smile. "That's such a line."

"Is it working?"

"Maybe." I bit my lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why didn't you kiss me the other night? When you walked me home?"

His eyes darkened. "Oh, I wanted to kiss you." He leaned forward, dropping his mouth to mine, his breath warm against my lips. Goosebumps erupted along my neck, and I struggled to focus. "Trust me, I spent the entire walk home thinking about it."