Page 206 of Josephine and Clay

"I've spent my whole life taking care of myself. My family was never the kind you could lean on. If I needed help, I figured it out myself because there wasn't another option."

I press a hand against my stomach.

"Then I found out there were two babies, and their father was a man who couldn't stay in one place for longer than five minutes without getting restless."

Pain flashes across his face.

I hate causing it.

I hate that part of me still believes it.

"You disappeared after the accident," I continue. "I knew you were hurt. I knew you were struggling, and when I tried to talk to you, we ended up arguing, then you left Buckhorn before you'd even healed."

Clay doesn't interrupt.

"I kept telling myself I could do this alone," I say. "I have a job. A home. People who care about me. I thought if I planned well enough and worked hard enough, I could handle everything." My laugh comes out shaky. "That's the lie I've told myself my entire life."

Clay's eyes stay locked on mine.

"If I expected anything from you, then I was giving you the power to disappoint me."

Clay drags a hand across his face. "You really thought I'd walk away from my kids?"

Tears sting behind my eyes. I look down at my hands. "I didn't know what you'd do. That's the whole problem, Clay."

“Well, I know the first thing I'm doing now.” He doesn't hesitate. “I'm coming home.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Clay

AUGUST 13TH

I still can't get past the twins part.

The word keeps ricocheting around my skull while I stare at Josie sitting beside me on the motel bed, looking exhausted, scared, and beautiful enough to knock the breath out of me.

Twins that somehow belong to me.

A laugh almost escapes me again, but this one gets stuck somewhere behind my ribs because the reality finally lands properly.

Two babies, and Josie carried them alone while I spiraled, feeling sorry for myself.

Shame burns hot and immediate through my chest.

I should’ve been there.

Every appointment. Every bad morning. Every terrified moment in the middle of the night where she probably convinced herself she had to handle this on her own because I’d already proven I run the second life gets hard.

The thought makes me feel sick.

Josie watches me carefully now, twisting her fingers together in her lap. “You don’t have to decide everything immediately.”

I blink back toward her. “What?”

“You just found out.” Her voice stays cautious, gentle in a way that somehow hurts worse. “I don’t want you making huge decisions because you feel trapped.”

Trapped.