Page 89 of Not Mine to Rescue

Twenty-four.

But never thirty-nine, or simply nine.

Those numbers hovered in my thoughts. Their increments broken down into months, weeks, but never days. Except getting through the current one. That was the main focus. Get through each moment without thinking about anything in the future. It would come, eventually. And when it did, I’d break.

Which meant for right now, I focused on taking meticulous notes both for work and my therapist.

A soft knock on my office door made me look up. Jim was back to work. He stood at the entrance. “You got a second?”

I’d avoided him as much as possible. I glanced at my calendar to find an excuse. The trouble was, I didn’t have one. “I’m working on a brief.” I pushed the laptop out of range to let him know I had the time to listen.

“Listen, I… apologize.”

Do you now? My eyes must have betrayed my thoughts, because he blustered on.

“I know I have no right to tell you who to date or⁠—”

“That’s enough. Do not bring that topic up here. I will take it to the partners.”

“Honey.”

“Honor.”

My correction caused him to twist his face into something resembling pain. Or maybe frustration. Frankly, I didn’t care.

“Do you have anything relevant to work to discuss?”

He glanced away, searching for a reply guaranteed to piss me off. He was good at that.

It must have been his years of practice and his keen observation skills that honed that particular fallible. Too bad he didn’t see more than he wanted to see. Otherwise—I cut my thoughts off. There was absolutely no way I was going there again.

He cut off my spiraling thoughts. “About the Destroyers account.”

“What about it?” At least his opening barb warned me where he was heading.

“There’s a few things you may not know.”

I motioned to the chair on the opposite side of my desk. Jim took it and adjusted his jacket so it wouldn’t wrinkle. He stalled while doing so.

“It’s that bad, huh?” I pointedly dropped my eyes to where he’d fiddled with his cufflinks. That was a tell. He was usually better with his emotions than that.

His mouth worked for a moment. “Okay. You caught me. I’ll cut to the chase. People around them have a habit of disappearing. Even people in their own ranks.”

“Are you certain about that?”

It was funny. In the brief moment he met my eyes, I saw something I hadn’t for a long time. Genuine concern. No, worse. Fear. It was the same look he had when I’d lost our first.

“I don’t have anything concrete.”

Which meant he had nothing. Still, I should be a team player. The problem was, Jim wasn’t being one. “I have done some research. Perhaps we should compare notes.”

“Honey.”

“Honor. Do I need to remind you again?”

“It’s a habit.” He hung his head.

“Break it.”