Page 23 of The Quiet After The Fall

“You don’t have a ticket?” the conductor asks, sounding so over his life.

“I was running late. I⁠—”

He sighs. “There’s a surcharge.”

“No problem. I’m sorry to be a pain.”

They go back and forth for a few minutes while I sit there, lost inside my head. I need to get rid of Knox but now we’re stuck together for the entirety of this train ride. Damn myself for taking an express. No stops until we reach the city.

I take in the hint of cologne he’s wearing. Of course he smells good. And I love the way he rolled his sleeves up like that, showing off his tanned forearms. He has some scruff too…it looks good on him.

I don’t realize I’m staring until Knox opens his mouth. “Like what you see, Thorne?”

“Not anymore,” I lie.

He just smirks like the bastard he is. That’s fine, let him smirk all he wants. I can’t stop him from sitting next to me, but I don’t have to talk to him.

I turn toward the window, watching the dark Hudson River come into view. Taking in the lines of trees. The outline of the opposite bank. Lights from a house somewhere across the water. If I stare long enough, maybe he’ll take the hint.

He bounces his knee. Slightly annoying, but I can ignore it.

His phone vibrates. He sighs and types something. My stupid curiosity is getting the best of me.

No. I can do this.

Stay strong.

He drums the seatback with his fingers, trying his hardest to irritate me. There’s only one other thing⁠—

Fuck.

He’s humming. Humming that song.

I can’t help it. He’s gotten to me and he knows it. I whip around, narrowing my eyes. “You’re really humming ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ right now? When you know what that song does to me!”

I watch as the corners of his lips tip up. “What? Do you not like it?”

I hate him. I really fucking do.

“You’re a child.”

I dig through my bag and grab my AirPods, but before I can open the case, he grabs them.

“Sawyer.”

Just my name from his lips. That’s all, and he knows he has me. Damn him.

“What?”

“Will you hear me out?” He pulls his free hand through his hair. “Please.”

I try to tell myself I don’t want to hear anything from him. But I know it’s a lie. Maybe I need to hear him out. Or maybe I just can’t help myself. Either way.

I sigh, and nod. “Fine. But nothing you say changes anything.”

He’s quiet for a second, like now that he has me, he doesn’t know where to start. Good. I want him to work for it.

“Ella and I—” He stops, swallows hard then starts again. “What you saw that night. The proposal. It wasn’t something I chose.”