Page 79 of High Water

I nod.

“No. Not in the moment. In the moment, I felt like I was drunk on confidence and in control.”

“It was sexy as hell seeing you like that.” I confess. “So I was confused this morning when you said it was a mistake because it was the surest I’ve seen you since I’ve been back. Like a fire was lit behind your eyes, and I loved every second of it. It felt like I could give you the something you needed to feel like you had the reins again.” I clear my throat when I look up and see the wide-eyed way she’s watching me. “But I don’t want to be a regret for you in the morning. So I just need you to tell me what you want here.”

“You’re not a regret, Bishop. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. In the moment, it was all of those things you said it was. It was just that this morning I remembered how complicated and fragile this whole arrangement is between us, and I don’t want to break it because I get nostalgic.”

“I respect that.” I tilt my head, trying to decide whether or not I should say the other things I want to say. If it’s too risky to admit, or worse, if she’ll see it as me crossing a line she’s just drawn.

“But?” she asks.

“But I don’t want to break the rules by saying something I shouldn’t.”

“Just say what you want to say.”

“You want your pillow fort; you can have it. I’ll respect it. No questions asked. But I’d also respect you tearing it down and using me to rebuild your confidence. Or explore any possibilities that interest you. I can’t pretend to be twenty, but I can pretend to be a random one-night stand if that’s what you need.”

“A one-night stand that sleeps in the same bed?”

“Why not? Just because you choose him one night doesn’t mean it has to be the next night. Or the one after that. Or even something you think about in the morning. You’re allowed to just enjoy it for what it is. Let yourself have some fun.”

Her eyes rake over me in contemplation, like she’s waiting for me to tell her what the catch is or how someone might use it against her.

“You’ll forgive me if that deal sounds too good to be true.”

“Then you’ve got the pillow fort option to keep things safe. But the Aspen I knew never cared much about ‘safe.’”

“What do you get out of this arrangement?”

“Aspen Stockton using me for sex.” I smirk. “You know how many men would kill for that arrangement?”

She presses her lips together in an effort not to smile at my amusement and shakes her head as she lifts her gaze to the ceiling.

“I can use you for sex. No questions asked? No demands or needs on your part?”

“I already have everything I ever needed. You. Fallon. Me. All of us under the same roof. Knowing you’re safe and I’m here if you need me.” I grin wider as I lean in closer to her. “You climbing into my bed with my ring on your finger. Your eyes on me and my name on those pretty lips when you come. Sneaking in to take what you want in the middle of the night, the way you did last night? Yeah. I think I’m good, Jones. I’m a simple man.” I lean back again to meet her eyes. “A man who needs more than that doesn’t realize how good he has it.”

THIRTY-THREE

Aspen

I’m struggling for words after that little speech. I’m not made to stand up to this kind of relentless charm offensive. But the shrill sound of his phone ringing pierces the room, and he steps back to look at the screen, frowning when he sees the name.

“It’s Anson. He’s called a couple of times today when I couldn’t answer. I said I’d call him back when I was in for the night. I’m sure it’s about the homestead renovation. He’s getting started right away and probably has questions. You mind if I answer real quick?”

“No. Go ahead. While you do that, I’m going to take my shower.” A cold one. Ice-cold. Because I’m seriously considering his offer.

I can’t really be blamed for that, can I? He’s my husband. In my bed. Offering to meet my needs. Ones I’m fairly certain he’s more than qualified to handle, given past experience. And if he’s to be believed, it doesn’t have to change anything. In fact, it might actually improve things if we’re both well-rested when we have to work together on this project. It could eliminate temptations during the day too.

I mull it over as I get suds up. It feels odd not to be at the ranch anymore, a place that felt like home even if it changed hands since the last time I called it home. And while these penthouses are gorgeous and convenient for being able to meet with my brothers and a whole host of other odds and ends, like room service and a spa, it’s going to be another adjustment. I hope Anson can make quick work of the updates to the homestead so we can get moved in sooner rather than later and at least get some semblance of routine back into our lives.

I spend more time getting ready for bed than I usually would until I realize what I’m doing and silently scold myself. Bishop’s still on the phone when I get out, and I signal to him that he can take his shower when he’s ready. He nods, grabbing some things out of his bag before he disappears into the bathroom. I hear him rambling about some electrical connections and discussing a tile situation before he says something about the roof. Then I hear the shower kick on, and I pull out my tablet. I’ll play a game or read a book. Anything to distract me from thinking about Bishop naked in the shower.

Miraculously, the distraction works. I’m so lost in my book that when the bathroom door opens, I startle and drop the tablet before looking up.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Bishop gives me a sheepish look and moves to his bag to grab something. I have no idea what because I’m too busy staring. He’s emerged in nothing but boxer briefs. Ones that hug and highlight everything. I tear my eyes away, forcing them up, and I see the flash of his dog tags. His chest and his stomach are subtly defined in the most perfect way. Not too much, and a little less sculpted than his arms and thighs, but still far better than my memories would have served. There’s a swirl of black ink up his left side that veers onto the center of his chest, where there’s a smattering of hair.

“You’re fine.” I wince as I hop out of bed and pick up the tablet off the floor. I set it on the nightstand and then grab my lotion off it.