Page 5 of High Water

When I reach the threshold of the door, I hear him call my name. “Aspen?”

“Yeah?” I pause, too nervous he’s about to tell me something that’ll hurt my feelings and make me cry to look back at him.

“Thanks.”

It’s a quiet word, nothing more. Anyone else would probably tell me it’s meaningless. But it’s more than he’s ever given me, and my heart dares to hope. I bite my lower lip and give a quick nod without looking back at him before I hurry back to the house.

ONE

Aspen

5 months ago

I stare down at the bright-red color on my nails, blowing on them to hurry the drying process. My daughter, Fallon, chose the color when she painted them. I’m not sure bright red is the best color on me. I’d have preferred something a little more somber, but given that Fallon’s been struggling with our move back to my childhood home in Colorado and hating every second of the divorce I’m getting from her father, I’ll do just about anything to gain a few brownie points with her.

I drop to the last step and make my way to the kitchen. The pantry’s huge, and it’s always kept well stocked. Especially since the whole family’s been here taking shifts while Levi, my middle brother, recovers from a gunshot wound.

I want to be as close as possible in case he needs anything during his recovery. But tonight, he insisted on having a little space of his own to breathe, so we’re having a girls’ night. My brothers’ significant others, my daughter, and I are all doing facials, manicures, and movies for the foreseeable future. The only thing missing, according to Fallon, is snacks, so I’m on my way to rectify that little oversight for her.

I’m so focused on my nails and trying to decide what snacks we could make that I nearly stumble straight into Levi in the kitchen.

“You’re up! Feeling okay?” I take inventory of my brother’s current condition.

He’s looking so much better than he was when I first saw him. I was terrified it might be the last time. His color is returning, and he’s on his feet again, making good progress according to his nurse and his girlfriend, Zephyrine. Well, I suppose technically, I’m not sure if she’s his girlfriend or not. Her being a nun-in-training complicates that situation a little bit, but I’m not about to judge, given it’s the first time he’s been in anything close to a relationship in a very long time. The man actually smiles now. So I assume she’s headed for sainthood if nothing else.

“I’m great. You need something?” He looks at me curiously, an odd expression I can’t quite read on his face. I narrow my eyes, studying him for more clues before I answer.

“Just gotta get some snacks for the girls.” I motion that I want to sneak around him when he stays rooted in place. He grins in response, closing the fridge door to let me pass. But it might as well still be open, blasting arctic air, because I freeze.

I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can’t think.

I must have fallen down the stairs, knocked unconscious, and everything since then has been a dream. Because the man who’s standing in the middle of the kitchen has been missing for more than fifteen years and presumed dead for a little less than that.

“I thought you were dead,” I blurt out.

“Well, whoever told you that exaggerated.” He’s sharp and quick with his response. He’s real. Which means all this time he’s been living his life, happy and free and far away from here. From me. From us.

“Apparently,” I answer bluntly. I don’t have words for this development. I can’t even begin to think of how I would find them.

“Heard you’re back in Colorado,” he remarks, like we’re just casually running into each other like we do every weekend at the grocery store. Not like the last time we saw each other was when he told me he loved me and then disappeared the next day without a trace.

Now he’s just standing there, asking me about my return to Colorado. And potentially my divorce. I have no idea how much Levi has told him. Or how long they’ve been in touch. Apparently for a while, given how casually he’s standing in my family’s kitchen.

“Sort of. I needed a change of scenery.” I keep my response brief. I’m staring, and I don’t even care. He looks exactly the same and altogether different now—the same gorgeous green-gold eyes, mismatched with a patchwork of color, the same thick head of dark-brown curls that tease along his nape just above his shirt, and the same bright grin that had every girl in this town not in love with one of my brothers hoping for a chance with him. But his beard is more grown than I’ve ever seen him wear it, and his shoulders are broader. The muscles in his arms more defined, and he stands straighter. There’s an authority to his presence that I don’t recall from our younger days.

“Hi, Uncle Levi,” my daughter, Fallon, calls to her uncle behind me.

The feeling of not being able to breathe returns. My chest constricts. In my own shock, I hadn’t thought about my daughter following me down.

“Hey, kid. You pick out a movie?” Levi answers her cheerfully. She’s the only kid, and her uncles all dote on her to the point of nearly spoiling her rotten.

“Still deciding. Mom won’t let us watch anything rated R, so it’s narrowed the options.”

Fallon moves to push past me to get to the snack cabinet I’ve yet to reach, and just like me, she misses the interloper in the room until she nearly slams straight into his chest. She gives him a once-over and a skeptical raise of her brow. She glances back at me for the briefest of moments, and apparently, not liking the look on my face or reading the tense, awkward state of the room, looks less than pleased with his existence before she curtly demands his identity. “Who are you?”

“Manners!” I scold her immediately, shifting on my feet as the panic of this moment unfurling like this hits me hard.

I’ve thought about this moment a million times. Replayed it in my head a thousand times more. What I would say. What he would say. What Fallon would ask. I didn’t expect it to be like this. And I’m not ready for it to explode in my face. Not with Levi standing there, completely clueless about the secret I’ve held back for so many years.