Page 58 of Baby for My Ex’s Dad

He isn’t wrong about my flaws, and I won’t insult either of us by disputing it in a restaurant. “You’re wrong about Alexei, but right about me.”

He blinks. Whatever he expected, that wasn’t in it.

“About the boarding school. The birthdays. The distance. The rest of it. I made those mistakes, Niklaus, and I’ve made no peace with any of it. If this were a trial on my fatherhood, I would not mount a defense. I’m guilty of being a terrible father to you, and for that, I’m sorry. Truly.”

He waits for the reversal, the counterattack, the lecture.

“My mistakes were made in grief and fear, and they wounded you. But your mistakes are being made in vanity, with open eyes, and they wound the family.”

He shrugs as if he doesn’t care.

“I failed you, Niklaus, it’s true. But I never betrayed you, something you’ve been doing for three years for Alexei Sokolov’s house, and there’s no childhood on earth that makes that even.”

“That’s not, you don’t get to just⁠—“

“I did not come to argue history, and I didn’t come to watch you drink cognac you did not pay for. I came to offer you a road back. There is one, and it will not be offered twice.”

The sneer lacks conviction. “Like the leash was a road?”

“A full confession. Everything, from the first Meridian Atlantic signature to whatever was said over the cognac at Mulberry Street. Full cooperation against Sokolov, given to me, used at my discretion.”

“You’re out of your mind, old man.”

I ignore him. “You do that, and you’re protected as my son, with a future in this family that we rebuild slowly and honestly. Starting from zero. Family suppers, family events. That’s the road home, Niklaus. It’s narrow and it’s uphill. But it’s the only path back.”

For one moment, his face forgets its script. He’s young and tired and tempted. Part of him wants this. His mouth opens.

Then it closes as he thinks better of my offer. “That’s generous. Truly. But I came with an offer too.” He leans back, arms wide along the chair, ever the showman. “You can keep the ports and all the business that runs in and out of them. Or you can keep the girl.”

Fuck. “What girl?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t play dumb. We’re above that, aren’t we? Didn’t you just promise me honesty a minute ago?”

“If you wanted honesty, then you shouldn’t have threatened what is mine.”

“You don’t get both, Dad. Give Sokolov the ports, or give Thea to me. That’s the offer.”

There’s a version of what happens next that lives behind my teeth for three full seconds. It ends with the white tablecloth turning red in spots. Gunshots are messy, inexact things. I can’t really predict how the blood will spray.

It shames me how fast the thought shoots through me.

He’s watching for it. That’s the point of this little show. My son wants to hurt me. That’s what all of this is about, even though he would never admit it.

I take the napkin from my lap, fold it in thirds, and place it beside the untouched water glass. “You may be thirty-one, Niklaus, but you have a lot of growing up to do.”

“Excuse me⁠—”

“I’ve tried, but you keep giving me reasons not to.” I stand and button my suit jacket. “If you were grown, your entire life wouldn’t be about your father. You would’ve processed your grief and your anger, either on your own or with a therapist, and you would make your life about you instead of the wounds that I gave you. That’s what men do, and I’m sorry I wasn’t around to teach you that.”

“You are out of your fucking mind⁠—”

“Tell Alexei I decline the offer.”

His nostrils flare. “You don’t get to decline shit! It’s one or the other!”

“Tonight I offered you a road home, and you answered with another man’s message. Always making your life about some other man instead of yourself. A pity that you have turned from my son into Sokolov’s errand boy.”

I step out of the restaurant, where Lev’s car is parked at the curb. I avoid looking back at the window, even though I sense Niklaus inside. Resenting me.