Page 2 of The Late Bloomer’s Playlist

‘You know what app, Patti.’ He turned and flashed me his torso again. David crossed to the crockery cupboard as he explained, reaching for a bowl, then reaching for a packet of mixed nuts that were open on the side. ‘It’s a new one, for the older woman. I told you about it.’ He set a small bowl of salted and caramelised peanuts in front of me. ‘The older woman looking to meet her older woman.’ He kissed me on the crown of my head. ‘I told you about it.’

‘Can you stop leaning on older quite so heavily?’ I said, mimicking his tone. ‘And I didn’t think you were being serious about that!’

‘Oh, Patti, come on.’ He leaned back against the kitchen worktop and spoke with folded arms. ‘Don’t you want to at least try?’

‘Is that a serious question?’ I threw a cluster of nuts into my mouth and crunched, my eyebrow raised, each bite purposeful. ‘Is that a serious question?’

‘There’s no helping you, Patti, there really isn’t.’

To show willing, I stood from the table and went to grab my phone – and I took my wine with me. I balanced the two things, one in each hand, and clicked into the notification that hovered on the screen.

‘Was it the app?’

‘It appears to be,’ I answered, hoping that my disinterest was carried in my tone. ‘I have one new match.’

‘See, it’s already helping. Cover yourself in melted chocolate, dive in headfirst.’

I locked my phone and threw it across to the table. ‘David–’

‘Patti, I know you think–’

‘David…’

‘I really do understand that you’re nervous about–’

‘No, David, listen–’

‘For goodness’ sake, Patti, what?’

I raised my arm and gestured for him to tuck himself into me. He wrapped an arm around my waist in answer, kissed my cheek in return.

‘My darling David,’ I said, my forehead resting against his own, ‘your left knacker is hanging out.’

‘Oh, tits.’ He turned away at speed to tuck himself decent.

I sipped my wine and enjoyed the warmth of it. ‘Wash your hands, won’t you, love?’