Page 42 of Everything But Mine

I don’t say anything. I just nod once, eyes fixed on the light spilling from the apartment.

When we walk back in, Amanda and Val are on the couch, hands linked. Amanda’s eyes flick to mine. Val doesn’t look away. Diego drops to the floor beside her, close but not touching. I take the armchair nearest Amanda, and I cross my arms over my chest so I don’t reach for her. She strokes the side of Val’s hand, and the shame in my chest expands and tightens its hold on me.

Has Medusa managed to stonewall us? There’s quietness, rather than silence. Just that awkward, weighty pause that waits for someone to make it easier.

Val clears her throat. “I owe you an apology,” she says, and her voice is the same as always—dry, efficient, controlled, but not cold. Not this time. “That wasn’t fair. I’d love to help you see the light my clinic can be, but it wasn’t the way.”

She looks at me when she says it. Her hazel eyes are locked on mine without so much as straying to Amanda or Diego.

I nod once, and maybe it’s pathetic, but that single line—it wasn’t the way—feels like more of an olive branch than I thought I’d get.

Amanda doesn’t let go of her hand. And I can’t help it, olive branch and all. I wonder if Val talked her out of our baby—out of me.

Amanda stretches on the couch, angling my way. “We don’t want to put you guys in awkward situations,” she says, “But we really need you to be vague about when this… development happened.” Development—because there’s no word for what we are. Co-parenting seems transactional, and raising a child is too emotional. So, development it is. I’d be hurt if I weren’t so happy she’s still on board.

“Scout’s honor!” Diego says, holding up his palm solemnly. “So, onto even more fun things. What are you doing with Keith’s wedding? Are you going?”

Just the mention of my half brother’s name makes my shoulders lock with tension.

Amanda shrugs. “I am certainly not going with Daray, that’s for sure. I’m close with the bride, Cece.”

“What is she again?”

Val smacks Diego across the head. “You’re not supposed to say that.”

“Aw,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “You know what I mean.”

“She’s from Queens. You know her?”

“I’m DJing for them. She wants a bunch of cumbia,” Diego explains. “It is my wonderfully unique wedding gift to them.”

“Cece sent two invitations. One for Daray, one for me. Both with plus ones. I thought it was silly. Now, I wonder if she knew.”

All eyes fall on me, like they’re expecting me to share some thoughts on this wedding I know nothing about.

“I’m not invited,” I respond.

“Dude, are you serious?” I nod. Amanda’s gaze on my profile makes my forearms prickle in goose bumps. “Your half brother didn’t invite you? That’s cold!”

“He isn’t cold. He is an asshole, and I’m better off away from him.”

“Val, do you want to come with me? I don’t want to go alone.”

Jealousy blooms inside me, tightening the knots in my stomach that had loosened. She’ll hug Diego, and ask Val out, but I’m sitting right here.

“Mandy, it’s almost two months away. Won’t you be showing?”

“Probably.”

“Does it make sense that your baby daddy won’t come to a wedding with you?”

Diego is smiling at me. He’s so proud of himself for bringing this up. Amanda’s whole body shifts to face me. I move my left arm so it inches closer to where she is—an invitation she doesn’t take. I sit in silence, waiting, while Medusa’s judgment takes place behind her squinting eyes.

“Would you come with me, Eric? I know it won’t be fun for you.”

“Sure. If you’re certain you’d rather go with me than Val.” Please, ask me to come with you.

“Yes, I just didn’t think you’d want to.”