Page 22 of Everything But Mine

“Bullshit.” Diego shakes his head. “You wouldn’t be this worked up if you didn’t want this.” He moves around me until we’re facing each other. “You want her.”

I have always wanted her. The thought has been clawing at me since Amanda told me she was pregnant. I’ll never be the man to give her a child—not the first one, anyway. That truth sits heavy in my gut. It tastes bitter and acrid. Still, just last night, I thought I’d lost any chance of making a life with her at all. And now… maybe I haven’t. If I can just figure out how to⁠—

Diego exhales, dragging a hand through his trimmed beard. “So she stayed with you last night. What now?”

That pulls me out of my self-flagellating train of thought. I look at him. “What? She’s staying tonight. She said so.”

“She’s not gonna go for it much longer. You may have two or three more nights before she figures out how to get you guys back to the status quo.”

I make a noise in my throat, half a scoff, half a challenge.

Diego scoffs. “She’s smart as a whip and stubborn as hell, man. She can figure somewhere else to go in record time.” He lets it sink in—how easily she could leave. Again. “Does she even open the door to your house? She has a key.”

“She will,” I say, annoyed, because he’s right.

“She’s got a million ways to talk herself out of staying with you. Hell, she’s got a vivid memory of you wrecking her gentle little heart. You need a plan.”

I scoff, rubbing a hand over my face. “Amanda has never been gentle or had a little heart.”

“No matter.” He waves his hand dismissively at me. “You need a plan.”

“And what, you’re gonna help me brainstorm?”

Diego shrugs. “I know Amanda. You’re playing the long game. ‘I have space’ isn’t a strategy. It’s a noncommittal, weak-ass excuse.”

I press my tongue against the inside of my cheek, considering that. “She trusts me.”

He tilts his head. “Does she?”

My jaw tenses. “She does. For this. I have her back, and she knows that.”

Diego shakes his head. “I really don’t think that’s right, man.” He lets his words linger. “But even so, trust isn’t enough. She also doesn’t like owing people, and she sure as hell doesn’t want pity.” He tips his head, thinking. “You have to make it something she wants, not just something that makes sense.”

I exhale through my nose. “What the fuck, Diego? What could she want other than to huddle up and figure things out?”

He smirks. “You know Mandy better than I do. What is she feeling? Make it about her, not you. She’ll run to fuck knows where if she thinks it’s about you.”

That lands uncomfortably because it is about me. Diego gets up, drying his hands on his sweats.

“You’re so dumb sometimes, man. What are all your degrees good for?” He loves hating on my doctorate any chance he gets.

I shift, gripping the first hold of the next route, needing to move. “You just told me this was a bad idea. Why are you so invested?”

Diego snickers, clapping me on the shoulder. “Hey, I never said don’t do it. But you need to know what you’re doing.”

I shake my head, exhaling sharply. “Yeah. Good luck with that.”

He grips my shoulder. “I mean it, Eric. If you do this, you have to be all in. No pussyfooting. No backtracking. Come what may. It’s you, Amanda, and that baby.” He waits for me to face him. “Are you in?”

I’ve been dying for the universe to throw me a bone and give me a chance to fight for her. This is it. But I’m paralyzed with fear. Because what if I try and lose her anyway?

Diego steps into my space, looking up at me with a challenging gaze. “You ready to stop fucking around? Man up for the woman you’ve always wanted?”

I nod tentatively.

He shakes his head. “Nah-uh. That doubt? That ain’t it. That’s not the vibe for this ride.” He chalks his hands back up, getting ready to start the next route. He’s about to close this conversation on me. “Sleep on it and make a fucking decision.” He checks the harness around his waist. “She’s going to want to keep the bastard away.” He grabs onto the new wall. “And to help her, you’re gonna claim that baby as yours. To her, it’s a ploy. Drive Daray bonkers, mess with him, and she gets breathing room. But for you… You gotta be serious about it.”

With that, he pushes up, and I follow, but his words take root in my chest, making it hard but refreshing to breathe. You’re gonna claim that baby as yours. I want her. But can I deserve her?