Page 88 of Aryn

I watch him, hating myself a little more.

The others pretend not to notice, but I catch Cameron’s pity before he tucks himself into his sleeping bag. I pull the blanket over my shoulders and lean back against my pack, staring up at the three moons. This space between us feels bigger than the entire valley, and I’m the one who made it this way.

When Lillith comes over to get me for my watch shift, I’m already awake. We’re not far off the main road, so we can’t venture away from camp without risking being seen. Tonight’s watch is mostly circling the grove of trees while listening for footsteps. It’s quiet, though, and as I wake Ronan for his shift, I realize Aryn set it up so our schedules wouldn’t overlap.

By the time the sky lightens, I’m exhausted and raw.

Aryn moves around the group as we break camp, helping pack and checking weapons, but he keeps that careful distance from me. When breakfast is ready, he walks over and sets a plate in front of me without a word. It’s a generous portion of salted meat, a piece of flatbread, and the last of the deep magenta fruit we bought in Thralune.

It’s an olive branch. I know it is.

I swallow my pride, force myself to look up at him, and say, “Can we talk? Please?”

Aryn studies me for a long moment, then nods. He sits across from me on the fallen log, far enough that we’re not touching, but close enough to speak privately.

His voice is gentler than I deserve. “I’m not angry with you, Cato. Not really.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

He huffs a sad laugh and stares down at his hands. “My head is loud right now. Distractions only make it worse.”

Distractions.

I fight to keep my face neutral through the way the word stings. I don’t know if I actually succeed, or if Aryn is too distracted to notice my hurt feelings.

“We’re getting closer to my home village, and I don’t know what we’re going to find there. I have no idea how it’s changed, or if anyone I used to know is still alive. Everything is just… hard. It’s heavy.” His gaze finally meets mine. “We need to talk about this… whatever this is between us. We will, okay? I just need time to get my head on straight before we do.”

I nod, fighting the burn behind my eyes and praying he can’t see it. “Yeah. Okay. I can give you time. But…”

He studies me warily. “But what?”

“Can you not… shut me out? I know I fucked up, okay? I know that, and I’m trying to figure it out.” My pulse gallops as I force myself to stay there and say the words. “You were right. I’ve been selfish with you.”

His face softens with something that looks like regret. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But it’s true. I’ve taken everything you’ve offered me and demanded more. I see that, okay? I see it and I’m trying to fix it.” I shake my head, dragging a hand over my beard as I try to explain why this is all so fucking hard for me.

“My world…” I start, then sigh. “I’m used to a world where people take whatever they can get. They don’t stick around long enough to settle debts, they just go. They take what they want from me, then they move on. And I…” I force myself to hold his eyes as I give him my truth. “I don’t want you to move on from me.”

“Cato,” he breathes, his face so fucking sad. “You don’t have to worry about that, okay?”

“You won’t leave?”

His eyes close as his throat dips in a swallow. “No. I won’t leave.”

“Okay,” I say with a heavy exhale, then hesitate. “You know I’ve got your back, right? No matter what happens… no matter what we find…”

He opens his eyes and stands, forcing my chin to tilt higher as he steps closer. Gentle fingers grip my chin as his thumb swipes over my jawline, tickling my beard. “You’re determined to burn me alive, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little?”

A quiet laugh leaves him as he takes a step back. “At least you’re honest about it.”

Another pang of guilt hits me, but his words don’t feel like a weapon. I stand and shake out the blanket he gave me last night. “You bought this in the village.”

“I did,” he agrees.

“Why’d you give it to me?”