Page 57 of Hiding in the Outfield

My heart points to them and screams, That. I want that. Hopefully, someday.

Maddox claps his hands once. “All right. Why are you coming to us about sex advice when Frankie is the one you’re hooking up with? He’s our go-to for advice.”

I squeeze the back of my neck. “Well, we’re not hooking up. And I could go to him, but⁠—”

“What do you mean you’re not hooking up?” Michaels interrupts. “What are you two doing on all the nights you crash here? Playing Backgammon?”

“Who the fuck plays Backgammon?” Winters asks.

“Frankie and Olander. Clearly.”

I open and close my mouth. I’ve completely lost control of the conversation here. It’s something I’ve started to learn about this group. They’re kind of…chaos. But it’s a nice chaos. They’re all just unapologetically themselves. It’s so foreign to the way I’ve lived up until this point.

“I’m with Shane and East,” Maddox says. “I’m confused. I thought that’s what you and Frankie were doing. Aren’t you guys in some sort of situationship?”

I drop my gaze to my lap and chew on my cheek. That probably is what it looks like, and that’s the aim. I suppose if I were normal, we would already be hooking up by now.

“So, um. I don’t have much experience. So, we’re taking it slow.”

The room is silent, and I grip the tops of my thighs.

“Frankie can take things slow?” Michaels asks in disbelief.

And that’s all it takes for the bubble of awkward tension to pop. A laugh bursts from me. “Yeah. We…uh…haven’t done anything more than kiss and, um, we jerked off together in the shower. Like separately.” And there goes the heat in my cheeks again.

“Well, well, fucking well. My, how the tables have turned, Mr. I bet they’re jerking each other off in the shower.” Michaels’s grin is I-95 wide. He leans forward and plants his chin in his palm and bounces his eyebrows.

I wince, but he waves me off. “Chirpin’ bro. No hate. Anymore.” He winks.

“So…” Maddox says, eyeing me. “When you say you don’t have much experience…?”

“I’ve had sex—with a girl—once. When I was fifteen. That is the extent of it…of anything. Well, besides making out with chicks, um, as my cover.”

“Shit,” someone whispers. I’m not sure who.

“Damn bro. Your dick deserves a warm hug,” Michaels says.

“And we’re just going to pass right over that. So, this thing with Frankie…” Maddox prods.

“He offered to teach me things.”

Michaels cackles and flops backward. “He so would. I remember when he offered to do the same for me when I first came out.”

My chin jerks in, and something uncomfortable snakes around my stomach. Frankie offered the same thing to Michaels?

Winters smacks Michaels hard in the gut. “Dude. Not cool.” He turns to me, studies me. “Is this not just physical for you? Well, I guess it’s not physical at all right now. But is that all you’re going for—to learn?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. I just…” My gaze darts to the side. “I just didn’t want it to mean nothing. Wanted someone I was comfortable with. Frankie made it clear he doesn’t do relationships, and that’s not something I’m looking for either. Baseball is my priority.”

Michaels dissolves into amusement again. “Who-Who wants to tell the poor sucker?” Small snorts and choked back laughs fall from him as he sits up and looks between Winters and Maddox who stay silent. He looks at me and grins. “You are so fucked.”

My mouth pops open.

“All right. So, you need tips to blow Frankie-not-your-boyfriend-never-gonna-be-your-boyfriend’s mind?”

I glare at him, and he just smiles wider.

“I give the best head out of this group, so I’ll cover that subject,” he says.